WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:04.000 Hello, everyone. My name is Joanne Lockwood, and I'm your host for the 2 00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:07.600 Inclusion Bites podcast. In this series, I will be interviewing a 3 00:00:07.600 --> 00:00:11.115 number of amazing people. And simply having a conversation around the 4 00:00:11.115 --> 00:00:14.955 subject of inclusion, belonging, and generally making the world a 5 00:00:14.955 --> 00:00:18.660 better place for everyone to thrive. If you'd like to join me in the future, 6 00:00:18.660 --> 00:00:20.920 then please do drop me a line to jo.Lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk. 7 00:00:23.765 --> 00:00:27.525 That's S-E-E Change Happen.co.uk. You 8 00:00:27.525 --> 00:00:31.064 better catch up with all of the previous shows on Itunes, Spotify, 9 00:00:31.205 --> 00:00:34.860 and the usual places. So plug in your headphones, grab 10 00:00:34.860 --> 00:00:38.400 a decaf, and let's get going. Today 11 00:00:38.620 --> 00:00:42.155 is episode 22 with the title, it's never too 12 00:00:42.155 --> 00:00:45.995 late to be what you might have been. And I have the absolute honor 13 00:00:45.995 --> 00:00:49.650 and privilege to be joined by Amy Rowlinson. Amy 14 00:00:49.650 --> 00:00:53.090 describes herself as someone who is on a mission to help 15 00:00:53.090 --> 00:00:56.470 people become purpose driven and values based. 16 00:00:57.085 --> 00:01:00.545 And when I asked Amy to describe her superpower, she said, 17 00:01:01.165 --> 00:01:04.925 I listen. Hello, Amy. Welcome to the 18 00:01:04.925 --> 00:01:08.760 show. Hello, Jo. Lovely to be here. I'm hoping not to be 19 00:01:08.760 --> 00:01:10.540 bitten on your podcast today. 20 00:01:13.400 --> 00:01:17.225 I'm sure with all our social distancing, I don't think my 21 00:01:17.225 --> 00:01:20.505 reach is quite that long. Jo, it's an absolute pleasure, I mean we've been talking 22 00:01:20.505 --> 00:01:23.900 about having you on the show for a few months now, pleased, we finally got 23 00:01:23.900 --> 00:01:27.580 together and made it happen. So who is Amy? 24 00:01:27.580 --> 00:01:31.415 And tell me why you feel it's never too late to be 25 00:01:31.415 --> 00:01:34.895 what you might have been. What's that mean? Well, I'm a 26 00:01:34.895 --> 00:01:38.035 strong advocate for being a midlife beginner, having 27 00:01:38.340 --> 00:01:42.100 created a number of businesses out of nothing at the 28 00:01:42.100 --> 00:01:45.540 sort of tender age of 40 something. And, 29 00:01:45.860 --> 00:01:49.505 well, Bites about 40, 42, 43. And in the last 30 00:01:49.505 --> 00:01:52.725 few years, I have really realized, having gone through 31 00:01:53.265 --> 00:01:56.780 a long process of personal development, that it is 32 00:01:56.780 --> 00:02:00.620 possible to do what you want to do and that it is never too late 33 00:02:00.620 --> 00:02:04.220 to be what you might have been and that who you are and what you 34 00:02:04.220 --> 00:02:07.845 do and what you have is all within your control. And 35 00:02:07.845 --> 00:02:11.305 what you want to have determines who you become and what you do. 36 00:02:11.525 --> 00:02:14.825 So I'm a strong believer of being a midlife beginner and 37 00:02:15.210 --> 00:02:18.970 switching between that of just existing to 38 00:02:18.970 --> 00:02:22.645 really living. Well, 39 00:02:23.025 --> 00:02:26.865 for for anyone that who's listening that knows me, I'm I'm 40 00:02:26.865 --> 00:02:30.465 with you on that. You know, I at the age of 52, I I I 41 00:02:30.465 --> 00:02:33.890 rebooted pretty much my entire life jo I know what it's like 42 00:02:34.190 --> 00:02:37.090 to start again if you like and 43 00:02:37.950 --> 00:02:41.495 and I found that sometimes when you start again you do it 44 00:02:41.495 --> 00:02:44.635 different, better, faster, and with more passion, don't 45 00:02:45.095 --> 00:02:48.855 you? Effort, isn't it, of of coming to something new as a in 46 00:02:48.855 --> 00:02:52.650 your midlife. Because, you you know, you people SEE it from the outside as being 47 00:02:52.650 --> 00:02:56.250 an overnight success. So actually, you've got sort of 40 years or 48 00:02:56.250 --> 00:03:00.035 several decades behind you. So you can leverage from that experience, 49 00:03:00.035 --> 00:03:03.815 and you can sort of transfer all those skills you've been amassing 50 00:03:03.875 --> 00:03:07.530 over that time and take it into something where you really have a 51 00:03:07.530 --> 00:03:11.290 passion for. And I think focusing on why you're doing 52 00:03:11.290 --> 00:03:15.085 what you're doing is jo important. And Bites sort of, for 53 00:03:15.085 --> 00:03:18.925 me, it enables you to really put some passion 54 00:03:18.925 --> 00:03:22.740 into that sort of life that you and business And 55 00:03:22.740 --> 00:03:26.180 learn from the experiences that you've had and not worry 56 00:03:26.180 --> 00:03:29.220 about what it is you've got to do or who you've got to impress and 57 00:03:29.220 --> 00:03:31.320 just do things because it's right for you. 58 00:03:32.965 --> 00:03:36.766 Yeah. Do you think people get kind of pigeonholed and stuck? You know, SEE 59 00:03:36.805 --> 00:03:40.105 if you I remember looking back and I was probably 60 00:03:40.430 --> 00:03:43.570 12, 13, I didn't really know what I wanted to do as a career and 61 00:03:44.030 --> 00:03:47.710 I played with a bit of electronics, I did a bit of photography, I was 62 00:03:47.710 --> 00:03:51.375 interested in maths and physics and science but I had no real kind of what 63 00:03:51.375 --> 00:03:54.735 do I want to do and suddenly I ended up as an electronics engineer because 64 00:03:54.735 --> 00:03:58.095 I had a slight interest in electronics and Belonging little 65 00:03:58.095 --> 00:04:01.760 radios. But it was never really a career choice but it 66 00:04:01.760 --> 00:04:05.200 just kind of I ended up in it. And then I got into computing again 67 00:04:05.200 --> 00:04:08.955 through hobbies and I got sort of into my 40s, I think. If I 68 00:04:08.955 --> 00:04:12.715 look back, I'd much rather have been a photographer. That was really 69 00:04:12.715 --> 00:04:16.180 where my passion laid when I was in my teens. But I didn't 70 00:04:16.180 --> 00:04:19.940 appreciate that was a career. So you do kind of get pigeonholed either by 71 00:04:19.940 --> 00:04:23.160 your parents, by your early choices in exams 72 00:04:23.300 --> 00:04:27.085 or qualifications And it's hard to get out of that box, isn't 73 00:04:27.085 --> 00:04:30.445 it? I think that growing up, we we had a sort of a a 74 00:04:30.445 --> 00:04:33.185 limited exposure to opportunities. 75 00:04:34.060 --> 00:04:37.819 And now we've got the advent of the internet and you've got all the 76 00:04:37.819 --> 00:04:41.360 social media. People are much more exposed to so many different 77 00:04:41.819 --> 00:04:45.565 sort of roots in life and where we probably had that careers officer 78 00:04:45.565 --> 00:04:49.405 who said, oh, you could do this particular career or that. And then, as you 79 00:04:49.405 --> 00:04:53.190 said, you just sort of get put onto that path. And unless you've got 80 00:04:53.190 --> 00:04:56.710 a real sort of pursuit for being a doctor or a 81 00:04:56.710 --> 00:05:00.550 veterinarian or whatever it was, you you kind of drifted. And that's where 82 00:05:00.550 --> 00:05:02.375 I felt I'd certainly drifted 83 00:05:12.360 --> 00:05:15.560 I was, oh, my goodness. You mean I could do other things in life? Well, 84 00:05:15.560 --> 00:05:19.000 why didn't no one tell me? I was quite cross, to be 85 00:05:19.000 --> 00:05:22.675 fair. Do you think there's a a kinda agenda 86 00:05:22.895 --> 00:05:26.574 difference here where men are kind of set off in this 87 00:05:26.574 --> 00:05:30.360 futuristic path whereas women are kind of traditionally put on to 88 00:05:30.360 --> 00:05:34.199 stop that path. A kind of until you have a family type type career 89 00:05:34.199 --> 00:05:37.385 path. Yeah. There can be. That's how it used to be. And I went to 90 00:05:37.385 --> 00:05:41.065 an all girls school. Didn't have a huge exposure to to 91 00:05:41.065 --> 00:05:44.550 sort of men until I went to university. And it was only then I was 92 00:05:44.550 --> 00:05:48.310 sort of sitting next to people saying, oh, you study too. I didn't realize that 93 00:05:48.310 --> 00:05:51.785 because I hadn't Happen in that space. I'd SEE just all 94 00:05:51.785 --> 00:05:55.465 women. So we were empowered. And we were sort of led to believe that we 95 00:05:55.465 --> 00:05:59.130 could do whatever subjects we want to do. And that wasn't a problem. And then 96 00:05:59.130 --> 00:06:02.490 when I went to university and then going into the workplace, that was it was 97 00:06:02.490 --> 00:06:05.630 a really different dynamic for me. And I found 98 00:06:06.225 --> 00:06:09.905 it's interesting because I went into a career again. I sort of fell into it. 99 00:06:09.905 --> 00:06:13.505 I didn't particularly plan it. I went into recruitment. And I used to 100 00:06:13.505 --> 00:06:17.180 have temps working for me in London. I had sort of 400 temps 101 00:06:17.180 --> 00:06:20.940 out each SEE working in different roles. And 102 00:06:20.940 --> 00:06:24.045 they were mostly sort of admin based. So they were actually 103 00:06:26.525 --> 00:06:30.365 had a few guys who came to me who were exceptional PAs. And I 104 00:06:30.365 --> 00:06:34.200 remember really having to sell them harder to my companies 105 00:06:34.260 --> 00:06:38.020 at that time. And so there was a difference in in sort of 106 00:06:38.020 --> 00:06:41.555 acceptance in that time. But it wasn't really sort of 107 00:06:41.855 --> 00:06:45.535 a big thing. It was just a case of me saying, look, he's really good. 108 00:06:45.535 --> 00:06:49.315 Come on. Let's Bites now you wouldn't have those issues at all. 109 00:06:50.410 --> 00:06:53.050 I mean, it's interesting to say you went to an all girls school and that 110 00:06:53.050 --> 00:06:56.430 insight you had about you weren't constrained by 111 00:06:57.245 --> 00:07:00.845 gendered roles because you were all women, all girls together, sort of thing. Do you 112 00:07:00.845 --> 00:07:03.905 think are you an advocate therefore for 113 00:07:04.410 --> 00:07:08.090 separate education for for young girls and boys, or do you think there's a that 114 00:07:08.090 --> 00:07:11.935 that's the benefits sometimes outweigh? What 115 00:07:11.935 --> 00:07:15.455 do you think? Is that Well, that there are several studies that show the results 116 00:07:15.455 --> 00:07:18.835 for sort of being in a single sex school for both 117 00:07:18.975 --> 00:07:22.670 girls and boys. And yet both my kids are at single 118 00:07:22.670 --> 00:07:26.270 sex schools. However, the 6th forms are mixed. And also now 119 00:07:26.270 --> 00:07:29.995 they're very aware of having the opportunities for people 120 00:07:29.995 --> 00:07:33.595 to not to specify whether they fit into either of those 121 00:07:33.595 --> 00:07:37.355 categories, that there are other options. And both schools are very progressive with that, 122 00:07:37.355 --> 00:07:40.889 which is fantastic. And something that I have learned is 123 00:07:40.889 --> 00:07:44.509 that my children were brought up 124 00:07:44.569 --> 00:07:47.695 very much from the position that I treated 125 00:07:48.475 --> 00:07:52.315 them as individuals. And it was something I read very early on. It was 126 00:07:52.315 --> 00:07:56.060 probably one of the best pieces of parenting advice that I got, which was 127 00:07:56.300 --> 00:07:59.360 don't treat them equally. Treat them as individuals. 128 00:08:00.139 --> 00:08:03.580 Don't think that they need to have equal portions of food. Treat them 129 00:08:03.580 --> 00:08:07.285 as what they need and ask them, what is it? How much food do you 130 00:08:07.285 --> 00:08:11.045 want on your plate? Let them SEE themselves and become independent thinkers, become 131 00:08:11.045 --> 00:08:14.830 independent in the way that they are. And that was, for me, is probably 132 00:08:14.830 --> 00:08:18.510 one of the best things Wellbeing a parent, receiving that information so 133 00:08:18.510 --> 00:08:22.315 early on. Yeah. I mean, I think you said your 134 00:08:22.315 --> 00:08:26.075 your children in their sort of mid teens and my my children are now in 135 00:08:26.075 --> 00:08:29.860 their 26 to 30 SEE group. And 136 00:08:29.860 --> 00:08:33.540 I'm I'm I'm Wellbeing thinking, if I could do that again, I'd be so much 137 00:08:33.540 --> 00:08:37.059 more woke, I'd be so much more, enlightened as a 138 00:08:37.059 --> 00:08:40.635 parent, I think. And as a parent, 139 00:08:40.915 --> 00:08:44.375 SEE don't we don't really get parenting classes in that way to 140 00:08:44.375 --> 00:08:48.150 understand how to and what we do SEE kind of push back and 141 00:08:48.150 --> 00:08:51.210 go I don't want to be interfered with, I want to parent my way and 142 00:08:51.750 --> 00:08:54.730 I think like it's like many things in life isn't it with with hindsight SEE 143 00:08:54.790 --> 00:08:58.525 do things differently and I'm not I mean, my kids are fantastic. I 144 00:08:58.525 --> 00:09:02.205 just wish I'd been a different parent, not a better parent or worse 145 00:09:02.205 --> 00:09:05.410 parent or or just I'd like to Happen been embrace some of the things you 146 00:09:05.410 --> 00:09:09.010 just mentioned. And, I think yeah. It goes down, 147 00:09:09.010 --> 00:09:12.255 doesn't it? You you do the best job at the time with the tools that 148 00:09:12.255 --> 00:09:15.375 you have. And and, you know, I was fortunate enough to have picked up that 149 00:09:15.375 --> 00:09:19.000 particular book and and found that resource at that time. And 150 00:09:19.000 --> 00:09:22.460 had I not, I wouldn't be giving myself a hard time of 151 00:09:22.920 --> 00:09:26.280 looking back on it. It's just what you do in that moment. 152 00:09:26.280 --> 00:09:29.915 And the making decisions for the schools that the children are, that was the 153 00:09:29.915 --> 00:09:33.035 decisions I made at the time of being the best schools for them, as I 154 00:09:33.035 --> 00:09:36.735 believe them to be. Whether they are or not, who knows? But 155 00:09:37.100 --> 00:09:39.980 it's one of those things. You make a Inclusion, and you go with it, and 156 00:09:39.980 --> 00:09:43.420 you take that responsibility. And there are always 157 00:09:43.420 --> 00:09:47.084 options, always choices. And you're making these choices what 158 00:09:47.084 --> 00:09:49.985 you are and what you believe at that moment. 159 00:09:52.492 --> 00:09:55.404 Jo, I mean, one of the things we started talking about earlier was around this, 160 00:09:56.280 --> 00:09:59.960 the ability to sort of put the brakes on in in your in your 161 00:09:59.960 --> 00:10:03.720 life and just have have a look around, just smell 162 00:10:03.720 --> 00:10:07.465 the flowers and look out the window and just go, who am I? 163 00:10:07.765 --> 00:10:11.125 What do I really want to do in the future? But there's a 164 00:10:11.125 --> 00:10:14.970 massive massive breaks you have to put in your life sometimes, 165 00:10:14.970 --> 00:10:18.750 isn't it? Because the momentum, your your your commitments, 166 00:10:18.890 --> 00:10:22.715 your family, your pressures of earning, a house, all 167 00:10:22.715 --> 00:10:26.475 this stuff around you has momentum, doesn't it? So it's a real there's a 168 00:10:26.475 --> 00:10:30.149 real well, real real tough breaks to say, Happen minute. Stop. 169 00:10:30.529 --> 00:10:33.730 Think. Now what can I do? And and that's tough for many people. How how 170 00:10:33.730 --> 00:10:37.084 do people go about that? I think stopping just 171 00:10:37.084 --> 00:10:40.865 to slow down and really look at what's happening around 172 00:10:41.004 --> 00:10:44.785 is probably one of the best things you can do instead of heading on full 173 00:10:44.830 --> 00:10:48.670 pace into everything. And I think that so often people think they go 174 00:10:48.670 --> 00:10:52.110 from one thing at 100 miles an hour to the next. And they don't slow 175 00:10:52.110 --> 00:10:55.935 down. And they don't stop and just pause and look around. And that's something I 176 00:10:55.935 --> 00:10:59.695 found at the beginning of lockdown. Pretty much everyone 177 00:10:59.695 --> 00:11:03.500 had the opportunity to do that. And there have been such a 178 00:11:03.500 --> 00:11:07.339 difference in thereafter, the responses of people 179 00:11:07.339 --> 00:11:10.884 of where they've gone into different directions. And let's use the 180 00:11:10.884 --> 00:11:14.245 word pivot because, for the want of a better word, that's what a lot of 181 00:11:14.245 --> 00:11:17.785 have done. Bites it has been an opportunity for everybody 182 00:11:17.925 --> 00:11:21.750 to press the reset button and think, is this really 183 00:11:21.750 --> 00:11:25.510 what I want to do? Is this something that I am passionate about? 184 00:11:25.510 --> 00:11:29.325 Is this something that I am actually really interested in? And 185 00:11:29.463 --> 00:11:31.665 SEE, obviously, there are financial 186 00:11:33.325 --> 00:11:37.105 responsibilities that people have. But if you have that opportunity 187 00:11:37.310 --> 00:11:41.070 to really pursue something that is of true 188 00:11:41.070 --> 00:11:44.670 value to yourself and isn't with your values, that's where you 189 00:11:44.670 --> 00:11:48.204 start to find that the real magic really happens. 190 00:11:48.345 --> 00:11:52.185 And for me, I had that opportunity years ago when 191 00:11:52.185 --> 00:11:55.920 I realized that I could take the opportunity 192 00:11:56.460 --> 00:12:00.060 to support my husband by creating a business that would then allow him to 193 00:12:00.060 --> 00:12:03.495 retire. So I spent 3 years building up a property 194 00:12:03.555 --> 00:12:07.254 portfolio that would replace income. 195 00:12:07.690 --> 00:12:11.450 And last October, which is 2019, he actually did step away 196 00:12:11.450 --> 00:12:15.290 from his role. And that has been a huge change for us 197 00:12:15.290 --> 00:12:19.035 as a family dynamic because he was in a position which was really 198 00:12:19.035 --> 00:12:22.875 quite stressful, was not great for his mental health, was not 199 00:12:22.875 --> 00:12:26.670 great for the family dynamic. And yet, we'd been stuck in a 200 00:12:26.670 --> 00:12:30.030 position where we didn't see an alternative for so many 201 00:12:30.030 --> 00:12:33.810 years. For 20 years plus, that's what we thought the path would be. 202 00:12:34.075 --> 00:12:37.675 And then we actually learned some information that 203 00:12:37.675 --> 00:12:41.275 allowed me. And I then went on various courses which gave me that 204 00:12:41.275 --> 00:12:44.990 education into understanding that there was a different route. There was a 205 00:12:44.990 --> 00:12:48.750 different way. And this is where I say I became a midlife beginner and that 206 00:12:48.750 --> 00:12:52.050 it was never too late to be what I might have been. And for me, 207 00:12:52.270 --> 00:12:56.014 that and family, that has completely changed. We're all together. 208 00:12:56.014 --> 00:12:59.535 We've spent the whole of lockdown together. We're at home together. The children now get 209 00:12:59.535 --> 00:13:03.100 the benefit of seeing their father more. And he's 210 00:13:03.100 --> 00:13:06.300 taken over that role. And then it's given me the opportunity to pursue what I 211 00:13:06.300 --> 00:13:08.320 love doing, which is podcasting and coaching. 212 00:13:10.045 --> 00:13:13.805 Fantastic. Yeah. I I mean, you look around to the world. There 213 00:13:13.805 --> 00:13:17.590 are people who do have these kind of midlife crisis 214 00:13:17.590 --> 00:13:21.190 for whatever you want to call it and some of it is outside of their 215 00:13:21.190 --> 00:13:24.975 control, they get made redundant, they have an illness or a life changing 216 00:13:24.975 --> 00:13:28.654 accident or something or something major occurs that causes them to 217 00:13:28.654 --> 00:13:32.095 pirouette, pivot, u-turn, whatever you wanna call the 218 00:13:32.095 --> 00:13:35.620 word. But many people, unless they have that intervention, that 219 00:13:35.620 --> 00:13:39.300 external intervention, don't don't stop do they? And that that's it's 220 00:13:39.300 --> 00:13:42.965 almost like empowering yourself to to make that change without it being 221 00:13:42.965 --> 00:13:46.645 enforced on you is where the power should come as men. Time and time 222 00:13:46.645 --> 00:13:50.325 again, I hear of people who have had these sort of external events, as you 223 00:13:50.325 --> 00:13:53.563 call them, or traumas or or sort of redundancy SEE 224 00:13:53.910 --> 00:13:57.510 death or or an illness. And it's because of that that they then 225 00:13:57.510 --> 00:14:00.815 realize that, you know, what they're doing is is not what they want to be 226 00:14:00.815 --> 00:14:04.175 doing. And that's been the trigger, to change 227 00:14:04.175 --> 00:14:08.015 their lifestyle. What I'm trying to help people to do is that it doesn't 228 00:14:08.015 --> 00:14:11.830 have to be a trauma before you realize that you can change your 229 00:14:11.830 --> 00:14:15.510 direction and that by taking responsibility and becoming more self 230 00:14:15.510 --> 00:14:19.245 aware of what you of who you are and what you want to 231 00:14:19.245 --> 00:14:23.085 do is is empowering. And, you know, you 232 00:14:23.085 --> 00:14:26.900 only get one life. And this is where I feel so many people are just 233 00:14:26.900 --> 00:14:30.280 existing and they're just sort of sleepwalking through their lives. 234 00:14:31.860 --> 00:14:35.654 Carpe Diem Indeed. Certainly. But is it not a 235 00:14:35.654 --> 00:14:38.235 privilege to be able to do that? 236 00:14:39.654 --> 00:14:42.940 There are many people who who don't have the stability 237 00:14:43.120 --> 00:14:46.860 of home, the stability of finance, the stability of relationships, 238 00:14:48.200 --> 00:14:52.015 the education or the contacts or the network. So it's quite a privilege 239 00:14:52.015 --> 00:14:55.615 to be able to say, just stop and have a think, isn't it? I think 240 00:14:55.615 --> 00:14:59.090 I think you're right. There there is an element to that. But I think it 241 00:14:59.090 --> 00:15:02.770 doesn't have to be that you are changing your entire 242 00:15:02.770 --> 00:15:06.214 life. You could just be changing one thing. You could be switching off the 243 00:15:06.214 --> 00:15:09.735 TV and, as you say, pursue your passion in photography, for 244 00:15:09.735 --> 00:15:12.955 example. So it's just by taking the time to prioritize 245 00:15:13.660 --> 00:15:17.260 the things in life that you enjoy more. And then you'll start to realize 246 00:15:17.260 --> 00:15:20.000 that there are opportunities there to 247 00:15:21.075 --> 00:15:24.835 turn your vocation into a profession. And that's 248 00:15:24.835 --> 00:15:28.355 where the switch can happen before making 249 00:15:28.355 --> 00:15:32.080 drastic decisions of just quitting your 9 to 5 to 250 00:15:32.080 --> 00:15:35.540 do something else. There is a responsibility there to 251 00:15:35.920 --> 00:15:39.715 probably overlap. And and that's where a lot of people sort of don't 252 00:15:39.715 --> 00:15:43.395 see that there are opportunities to pursue different 253 00:15:43.455 --> 00:15:47.209 Bites without it all having to come tumbling down. 254 00:15:47.209 --> 00:15:50.510 You don't have to do it that way. It can be a balance. 255 00:15:52.335 --> 00:15:55.855 So just to add to your sort of like major major 256 00:15:55.855 --> 00:15:59.430 u-turn here, we can talk about Bites evolution. We can say start at me, I 257 00:15:59.430 --> 00:16:01.990 think the way you just said it was that you started investing in your own 258 00:16:01.990 --> 00:16:05.750 education, you had like a gold property portfolio, how 259 00:16:05.750 --> 00:16:08.894 do I go about that, let's go on some courses. So it may take you 260 00:16:08.894 --> 00:16:12.095 a year to invest in yourself to get to a point where you're ready or 261 00:16:12.095 --> 00:16:15.454 if you're gonna do a coaching course, and we all know the coaching courses probably 262 00:16:15.454 --> 00:16:18.019 take a year to 18 months to do the coaching courses, then at the end 263 00:16:18.019 --> 00:16:21.139 of that you're ready to start business, you don't have a business at that point, 264 00:16:21.139 --> 00:16:24.899 you're ready to start a business jo by taking looking at maybe a 265 00:16:24.899 --> 00:16:28.725 year, 12 months, 18 months plan of this where you invest 266 00:16:28.725 --> 00:16:32.565 in yourself that way you're not putting the brakes on suddenly you're 267 00:16:32.565 --> 00:16:36.320 already you're planning to come to a gentle stop. Is that probably the way 268 00:16:36.320 --> 00:16:40.160 to do it? Absolutely. I think investing in yourself and in your own 269 00:16:40.160 --> 00:16:43.600 ability to again, it comes back to personal 270 00:16:43.600 --> 00:16:46.925 development, which for me was just you know, it was just such 271 00:16:47.305 --> 00:16:50.985 a light bulb moment, such an epiphany to sort of realize that 272 00:16:50.985 --> 00:16:54.830 I had all these different opportunities available to me and that 273 00:16:54.830 --> 00:16:58.590 I didn't even know that there was such a thing as limiting beliefs or imposter 274 00:16:58.590 --> 00:17:02.084 syndrome or sort of, you know, to 275 00:17:02.225 --> 00:17:05.984 change the way that you've been thinking using anchors in NLP. I mean, there's 276 00:17:05.984 --> 00:17:09.599 just there's so many different ways that you can sort 277 00:17:09.599 --> 00:17:13.440 of shift and move and and grow. And I mean, I'm 278 00:17:13.440 --> 00:17:17.119 a massive believer in in lifelong learning. And I 279 00:17:17.119 --> 00:17:20.664 say it all the time. But SEE the Shakespeare 280 00:17:20.664 --> 00:17:24.505 quote that I absolutely love, which is the fool to think the 281 00:17:24.505 --> 00:17:28.349 fool to think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to 282 00:17:28.349 --> 00:17:31.970 be a fool. And, you know, Bites so important to 283 00:17:32.190 --> 00:17:35.955 to realise that there is always more out there that you can 284 00:17:35.955 --> 00:17:39.155 grow and learn. And for me, I'm just going to be a lifelong sort of 285 00:17:39.155 --> 00:17:42.990 learner because there's so much that I don't even know 286 00:17:42.990 --> 00:17:46.350 how to describe. I don't even know what I don't know at the moment. So 287 00:17:46.350 --> 00:17:50.110 as humans, we do crave for that purpose. And I'm sure, you know, 288 00:17:50.110 --> 00:17:53.855 anyone who's read Frankl's Man's Search For Meaning, you know 289 00:17:53.855 --> 00:17:57.615 that it's bigger. There's so much more there. But once 290 00:17:57.615 --> 00:18:01.440 we understand why we are doing what we're doing, we 291 00:18:01.440 --> 00:18:05.200 have a life of fulfillment. And that's where, ultimately, I'm not saying 292 00:18:05.200 --> 00:18:08.895 ditch your 9 to 5 job. It's just about finding something that is fulfilling 293 00:18:08.895 --> 00:18:12.255 in your life. And that can be done through volunteering. It could be you know, 294 00:18:12.255 --> 00:18:15.695 it doesn't have to be that you create a new business. And it doesn't have 295 00:18:15.695 --> 00:18:18.770 to be that you leave your 9 to 5 at all. You could align yourself 296 00:18:18.770 --> 00:18:21.750 within a business. And this is where I do a lot of work with 297 00:18:22.690 --> 00:18:26.390 Parkinson's. It's a cause that I'm supporting on the podcast at the moment 298 00:18:26.610 --> 00:18:30.225 because it's a way of aligning 299 00:18:30.285 --> 00:18:34.125 your passion in life with a. So you can 300 00:18:34.125 --> 00:18:37.910 volunteer for a company. You can work with our company. It's about 301 00:18:37.910 --> 00:18:41.670 connection, and it's about belonging and understanding that what you're doing 302 00:18:41.670 --> 00:18:43.130 is of value to others. 303 00:18:45.695 --> 00:18:49.535 But people still get blocked by their imposter syndrome, these limiting beliefs. I mean, 304 00:18:49.535 --> 00:18:53.055 you mentioned that yourself. And that's a real brick wall, isn't it? Where people go, 305 00:18:53.055 --> 00:18:56.360 I couldn't, I couldn't, I can't. And we said, well, just take a small step. 306 00:18:56.360 --> 00:19:00.120 Well, no, we couldn't, I couldn't, Bites I'm too busy. I've I've not 307 00:19:00.120 --> 00:19:03.865 got the skills. I've I don't know anything. I don't know any. As a as 308 00:19:03.865 --> 00:19:07.705 a roadblocker, how can we help people overcome these sort of limiting 309 00:19:07.705 --> 00:19:11.225 beliefs and and it's easy for us because we've done 310 00:19:11.225 --> 00:19:14.950 this But it's not so easy for people who are embarking on 311 00:19:14.950 --> 00:19:18.789 this first tiptoe into this world, isn't it? Quite often, 312 00:19:18.789 --> 00:19:22.565 what people say they can't do, it is it is, as you say, it's 313 00:19:22.565 --> 00:19:26.105 a limiting belief. And it's about finding the connection 314 00:19:26.245 --> 00:19:29.760 between what it is they really want to do, find and 315 00:19:29.840 --> 00:19:33.380 twisting that into becoming a priority, but aligning 316 00:19:33.680 --> 00:19:37.325 the the purpose behind it so that they understand that by 317 00:19:37.325 --> 00:19:40.465 doing that, it's going to enable others. So it's connecting 318 00:19:41.005 --> 00:19:44.685 emotions with the actions and understanding what the what 319 00:19:44.685 --> 00:19:48.510 those results are going to be. And quite often, when you 320 00:19:48.510 --> 00:19:51.570 serve or help others and you show 321 00:19:52.510 --> 00:19:56.110 the value in that, you're seeing their end 322 00:19:56.110 --> 00:19:59.875 results in helping others. And that is so 323 00:19:59.875 --> 00:20:03.715 fulfilling. So again, you hear this 324 00:20:03.715 --> 00:20:06.850 quote all the time from Henry Ford, whether you think you can or whether you 325 00:20:06.850 --> 00:20:10.529 think you can't, you're right. And it really comes down to does it 326 00:20:10.529 --> 00:20:14.025 really mean enough to you to make that Change? Because 327 00:20:14.565 --> 00:20:17.845 it's with everything. If you want to lose weight, do you really want to lose 328 00:20:17.845 --> 00:20:20.860 weight? Because you're going to have to put the effort in. And it's with all 329 00:20:20.860 --> 00:20:23.440 things you have to put the effort in to get results. 330 00:20:25.179 --> 00:20:28.975 For sure. Again, that comes down to finding your own why. Are you 331 00:20:28.975 --> 00:20:32.595 doing it for yourself, doing it for the society expects, 332 00:20:32.975 --> 00:20:36.674 or you're doing because somebody else wants you to? And those other 2, you know, 333 00:20:37.149 --> 00:20:40.909 to conform because somebody else wants you to, they're never gonna be sustainable. You'll 334 00:20:40.909 --> 00:20:44.509 never feel that passion. You've got to say to yourself, if you wanna lose 335 00:20:44.509 --> 00:20:48.133 weight, I'm not gonna eat that Mars bar, I'm not gonna have that glass of 336 00:20:48.133 --> 00:20:51.699 wine, because I don't want to. As soon as somebody else is putting those rules 337 00:20:51.699 --> 00:20:55.270 in place, you'll go, well, they can't see me, I'll start again tomorrow. So once 338 00:20:55.270 --> 00:20:59.030 you've learned you're only cheating yourself and you're holding yourself accountable, that's when you 339 00:20:59.030 --> 00:21:02.790 can make Change, isn't it? Absolutely. And I mean, language is 340 00:21:02.790 --> 00:21:06.554 so important. Our self talk is is critical. And what we're 341 00:21:06.554 --> 00:21:09.915 saying to ourselves on a daily basis is is a 342 00:21:09.915 --> 00:21:13.135 huge impact to how we can move forward. 343 00:21:13.480 --> 00:21:16.840 And quite often, I advocate to people that they 344 00:21:16.840 --> 00:21:20.519 journal and they do like a morning journal. And 345 00:21:20.519 --> 00:21:24.265 it's just to release that sort of self talk before you start 346 00:21:24.265 --> 00:21:27.945 the day. Because quite often, we have so much sort of 347 00:21:27.945 --> 00:21:31.650 negative self talk that we keep going and we repeat those all 348 00:21:31.650 --> 00:21:34.770 through the day because we have so many more thoughts. I mean, I can't remember 349 00:21:34.770 --> 00:21:38.424 the numbers Bites 60,000 thoughts a day, But majority of 350 00:21:38.424 --> 00:21:42.024 those are are repetitive. And and a lot of them also are 351 00:21:42.024 --> 00:21:45.784 negative. So by journaling first thing in the morning and just getting it 352 00:21:45.784 --> 00:21:49.140 out onto paper, you actually give yourself 353 00:21:49.520 --> 00:21:53.279 the permission to move on. And the self talk feels as 354 00:21:53.279 --> 00:21:56.695 though it's been acknowledged. But then actually Bites gone. 355 00:21:56.695 --> 00:22:00.455 It's it becomes less powerful on us. So yeah, it's 356 00:22:00.455 --> 00:22:01.569 it's really not SEE 357 00:22:09.745 --> 00:22:12.465 that's interesting because, you know, if I was to say think of a pink elephant 358 00:22:12.465 --> 00:22:15.185 or don't think of a pink elephant, the first thing you can't stop thinking about 359 00:22:15.185 --> 00:22:19.020 is a pink elephant. So if you're trying to stop drinking, you 360 00:22:19.320 --> 00:22:22.460 always think about not drinking, therefore you're always thinking about drinking. 361 00:22:23.160 --> 00:22:26.335 If you're trying to lose weight you're always thinking about not eating or being careful 362 00:22:26.335 --> 00:22:30.095 with your food so food, drink, pink elephants become all in 363 00:22:30.095 --> 00:22:33.409 your mind all the time and you can't find room for anything else to take 364 00:22:33.409 --> 00:22:35.409 your mind off it, can you? And that you wake up thinking about it, you 365 00:22:35.409 --> 00:22:39.250 go to sleep thinking about it, you're beating yourself up for not losing that £2 366 00:22:39.250 --> 00:22:43.065 this week, you're focusing on that for the next week and you're 367 00:22:43.065 --> 00:22:46.745 constantly micro judging yourself on a daily basis 368 00:22:46.745 --> 00:22:50.440 rather than taking a bigger goal saying this month, I'm trying to 369 00:22:50.440 --> 00:22:54.200 lose £2. We're worried about losing £2 every day and we're weighing ourselves too 370 00:22:54.200 --> 00:22:57.740 much, aren't we? Is that is that are we over measuring sometimes too much data? 371 00:22:58.605 --> 00:23:02.445 There could be that. I think it's it's focusing on the on the outcomes and 372 00:23:02.445 --> 00:23:06.285 what it will allow you to do. So it's a case of I 373 00:23:06.285 --> 00:23:09.920 am losing weight because I am then going to be able 374 00:23:09.920 --> 00:23:13.680 to run to the shops or run not to 375 00:23:13.680 --> 00:23:16.815 get more food, but run run with the kids, you know, to have have fun 376 00:23:16.815 --> 00:23:20.654 or take the dog for a walk. I'm gonna be more, able to do 377 00:23:20.654 --> 00:23:24.174 the things that I love doing, which is and jo it's focusing on on what 378 00:23:24.174 --> 00:23:28.010 it is it will allow us to do as opposed to just focusing on that 379 00:23:28.010 --> 00:23:31.690 moment. So it's thinking longer term. And as you 380 00:23:31.690 --> 00:23:35.475 say, not just on that short term, eating for fuel, you know, not 381 00:23:35.475 --> 00:23:38.355 not sort of saying, I'm not going to eat this. It's what what are you 382 00:23:38.355 --> 00:23:42.135 going to eat? I'm going to eat fantastic foods that really fill me with 383 00:23:42.420 --> 00:23:46.260 energy and vitality. And this is this is where, you know, 384 00:23:46.260 --> 00:23:49.945 learning and growing and improving just 385 00:23:49.945 --> 00:23:53.565 takes you to that next step. And Bites so important. I think 386 00:23:53.865 --> 00:23:56.435 often when we're we're excuse SEE. 387 00:24:04.045 --> 00:24:07.885 Often when we are in the moment, we we get, as you say, we 388 00:24:07.885 --> 00:24:11.540 get stuck and we don't see the bigger picture. So 389 00:24:11.540 --> 00:24:15.140 taking ourselves out of the frame, we can then see what it is we're 390 00:24:15.140 --> 00:24:18.920 trying to achieve. So 391 00:24:19.460 --> 00:24:22.725 where are we now? This is like end of November, 3 or 4 weeks till 392 00:24:22.725 --> 00:24:26.485 Christmas, we've been in lockdown on and off or some shape 393 00:24:26.485 --> 00:24:30.265 of of sort of COVID dominating our lives for the last 8 or 9 months 394 00:24:30.679 --> 00:24:34.280 with a kind of vaccine being Joanne good in front of us but even 395 00:24:34.280 --> 00:24:37.880 then they're not promising anything before March, probably even the 396 00:24:37.880 --> 00:24:41.545 summer before anything Happen. So how are you seeing that impacting people? I 397 00:24:41.545 --> 00:24:45.385 mean, is it helping people discover themselves more or 398 00:24:45.385 --> 00:24:49.134 are people still in survival mode? How do you SEE 399 00:24:49.200 --> 00:24:52.800 do you see people that you're talking to find in this time? So a lot 400 00:24:52.800 --> 00:24:56.155 of people that I speak to are definitely in the thrive mode because they 401 00:24:56.155 --> 00:24:59.835