WEBVTT 1 00:00:07.520 --> 00:00:10.885 Welcome to Inclusion Bites, your 2 00:00:10.885 --> 00:00:14.485 sanctuary for bold conversations that spark change. I'm 3 00:00:14.485 --> 00:00:18.109 Joanne Lockwood, your guide on this journey of exploration into 4 00:00:18.109 --> 00:00:21.810 the heart of inclusion, belonging, and societal 5 00:00:22.029 --> 00:00:25.869 transformation. Ever wondered what it truly takes to create 6 00:00:25.869 --> 00:00:29.705 a world where everyone not only belongs but thrives? 7 00:00:29.925 --> 00:00:33.765 You're not alone. Join me as we uncover the 8 00:00:33.765 --> 00:00:37.350 unseen, challenge the status quo, and share 9 00:00:37.350 --> 00:00:40.950 stories that resonate deep within. We're just 10 00:00:40.950 --> 00:00:44.785 diving. Whether you're sipping your morning coffee or winding 11 00:00:44.785 --> 00:00:48.085 down after a long day, let's connect, reflect, 12 00:00:48.465 --> 00:00:51.980 and inspire action together. Don't forget, 13 00:00:52.440 --> 00:00:56.060 you can be part of the conversation too. Reach out to jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk 14 00:00:59.240 --> 00:01:02.915 to share your insights or to join me on the show. 15 00:01:03.695 --> 00:01:07.295 So adjust your earbuds and settle in. It's time to 16 00:01:07.295 --> 00:01:10.940 ignite the spark of inclusion with Inclusion Bites. 17 00:01:14.760 --> 00:01:17.260 And today is episode 125 18 00:01:18.625 --> 00:01:22.245 with the title Inner Peace, Outer Progress. 19 00:01:23.185 --> 00:01:26.810 And I have the absolute honor and privilege to welcome doctor 20 00:01:27.030 --> 00:01:30.790 Manoj Krishna. Manoj started the human wisdom 21 00:01:30.790 --> 00:01:34.549 project and created the HappierME personal development 22 00:01:34.549 --> 00:01:37.615 app to help reduce suffering, 23 00:01:38.795 --> 00:01:42.015 help each person lead a happier and more successful life. 24 00:01:42.520 --> 00:01:46.280 And when I asked Manoj to describe his superpower, he said, he used to be 25 00:01:46.280 --> 00:01:49.720 a spine surgeon, but less surgery to start this 26 00:01:49.720 --> 00:01:52.885 project to create a better future for humanity. 27 00:01:53.265 --> 00:01:57.045 Wow. What an ambition. Hello, Manoj. Welcome to the show. 28 00:01:57.105 --> 00:01:59.445 Hi, Jo. Thank you so much for having me. 29 00:02:00.620 --> 00:02:03.280 Absolute pleasure. Absolute pleasure. So Manoj, 30 00:02:04.380 --> 00:02:08.185 inner peace, outer progress, I'd love to hear more about some 31 00:02:08.185 --> 00:02:11.944 of your your life, your history, and your passion. So, you 32 00:02:11.944 --> 00:02:15.465 know, I was driving home from work one day after 33 00:02:15.465 --> 00:02:18.920 surgery, 10 hour surgery, you know, all 34 00:02:18.920 --> 00:02:22.300 day, and a hospital in the Middle East got bombed, 35 00:02:22.920 --> 00:02:26.715 but it was a children's hospital. It was about 10 years ago, 36 00:02:26.855 --> 00:02:30.375 and the kids were screaming on the radio, and I felt we 37 00:02:30.375 --> 00:02:34.215 humans I was really moved by that and I felt we humans need to 38 00:02:34.215 --> 00:02:37.260 do better. We can do better, 39 00:02:38.120 --> 00:02:41.900 and we have the wisdom in the world to do better. 40 00:02:42.599 --> 00:02:46.085 It's just not spread enough. Do you know what I mean? It's 41 00:02:46.085 --> 00:02:49.685 just not it's not part of education. It's not part of our 42 00:02:49.685 --> 00:02:53.260 lives. And the understanding that could end 43 00:02:53.260 --> 00:02:57.100 conflict and war is so simple that children as young as 44 00:02:57.100 --> 00:03:00.584 10 get it straight away. But why don't adults have 45 00:03:00.665 --> 00:03:04.105 carry this with them? And so I transitioned out of medicine. I 46 00:03:04.105 --> 00:03:07.870 felt called, you know, to do something about it. You 47 00:03:07.870 --> 00:03:11.709 know, you keep thinking some politician or some clever person is going to step 48 00:03:11.709 --> 00:03:15.215 up and do all this, and then you realize they're they 49 00:03:15.215 --> 00:03:19.055 aren't, and it's up to you. And you think, who am I? And then 50 00:03:19.055 --> 00:03:22.815 you realize you have the ultimate power because you're 51 00:03:22.815 --> 00:03:26.470 an ordinary human being. And the biggest 52 00:03:26.470 --> 00:03:29.290 change in the world, Margaret Mead said, 53 00:03:30.150 --> 00:03:33.784 that never doubt paraphrasing, of course, that a 54 00:03:33.784 --> 00:03:37.545 small group of committed individuals can change the world. 55 00:03:37.545 --> 00:03:40.284 In fact, it's the only thing that ever has. 56 00:03:41.250 --> 00:03:45.010 And so I just started and I've 57 00:03:45.010 --> 00:03:47.990 always been one to start walking and 58 00:03:48.935 --> 00:03:52.375 with not knowing what's going to happen next. So I left 59 00:03:52.375 --> 00:03:56.215 medicine, I started working in schools talking to teachers about 60 00:03:56.215 --> 00:04:00.020 stress and anxiety, And one day the head teacher said, hey, come and 61 00:04:00.020 --> 00:04:03.140 talk to these kids. I said, but I don't know how to talk to children. 62 00:04:03.140 --> 00:04:06.019 I know what to say to them. He said, no. No. Come along with, you 63 00:04:06.019 --> 00:04:09.655 know so I sat down with them and I said, will you look after me? 64 00:04:09.655 --> 00:04:13.175 It's my first time talking to kids. I'm a little bit nervous. They said, oh, 65 00:04:13.175 --> 00:04:16.580 yes. Yes. Of course. There are only 7 or 8, you know. But I discovered 66 00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:20.399 something amazing, which is we're missing 67 00:04:20.399 --> 00:04:23.780 a trick in education because we think 68 00:04:24.175 --> 00:04:27.475 education is about stuffing their heads with what we know, 69 00:04:28.095 --> 00:04:31.730 and we think we're doing them a favor by doing that. But the root 70 00:04:31.730 --> 00:04:35.110 word of education, adusory, is to draw out. 71 00:04:35.890 --> 00:04:39.650 You see? And what we really need to do in education is 72 00:04:39.650 --> 00:04:43.335 draw out their innate intelligence or 73 00:04:43.335 --> 00:04:46.474 wisdom, whatever word you want to call it. And 74 00:04:47.095 --> 00:04:50.890 every child, in fact, every adult has this 75 00:04:51.430 --> 00:04:54.790 innate intelligence or wisdom inside them, which can be 76 00:04:54.790 --> 00:04:58.170 completely life changing. So when you sit down with kids 77 00:04:58.565 --> 00:05:02.405 as an equal and say, I might have gray hair, but we're 78 00:05:02.405 --> 00:05:06.245 the same human being, you and I. Can we explore this subject 79 00:05:06.245 --> 00:05:09.750 together, whatever it might be? And they say, oh, yeah. And they're fearless as you 80 00:05:09.750 --> 00:05:13.590 know, and they're open and beautiful. And I 81 00:05:13.590 --> 00:05:17.030 thought, oh my god. If we can bottle up their 82 00:05:17.030 --> 00:05:20.735 wisdom and share it with the world, we 83 00:05:20.735 --> 00:05:23.395 really could not only help each child 84 00:05:24.175 --> 00:05:27.910 flourish, but change the future of humanity. They have an answer to 85 00:05:27.910 --> 00:05:31.750 war, to climate change, to all the conflicts 86 00:05:31.750 --> 00:05:35.525 in the world, to relationship conflict, to stress and anxiety. 87 00:05:35.825 --> 00:05:39.665 They have solutions which are so simple, but adults have forgotten 88 00:05:39.665 --> 00:05:43.419 that. So that's been my passion. So I started out on that journey 89 00:05:44.360 --> 00:05:48.120 and then came COVID, had spoken in 50 schools and 90 00:05:48.120 --> 00:05:50.139 colleges and universities by then. 91 00:05:52.015 --> 00:05:55.555 And you see it's the question that has the power 92 00:05:55.775 --> 00:05:58.930 to open the door to wisdom. And 93 00:05:59.310 --> 00:06:02.990 I then discovered that my goodness, if we could take this to the 94 00:06:02.990 --> 00:06:06.215 world that's why I created the human wisdom project, 95 00:06:06.835 --> 00:06:10.515 and then I built this app called happier me. And 96 00:06:10.515 --> 00:06:13.979 all it does is ask you questions and helps 97 00:06:13.979 --> 00:06:17.199 you unlock your own inner intelligence. 98 00:06:17.659 --> 00:06:21.395 So I said recently it's like walking into 99 00:06:21.395 --> 00:06:25.235 a room and putting the light on, except the light goes on in your 100 00:06:25.235 --> 00:06:29.030 own mind. So you can see clearly, you can make better 101 00:06:29.030 --> 00:06:32.730 decisions, you can live without 102 00:06:32.790 --> 00:06:36.010 conflict and with meaningful deep relationships. 103 00:06:36.735 --> 00:06:40.575 You can manage your own emotions, manage your own mental 104 00:06:40.575 --> 00:06:44.250 health, live in peace with yourself and others, and you 105 00:06:44.250 --> 00:06:47.949 can contribute to making the world a more peaceful and 106 00:06:48.569 --> 00:06:52.415 more beautiful place. See our time on earth is so 107 00:06:52.415 --> 00:06:56.255 limited, it goes by a flash. But if you 108 00:06:56.255 --> 00:07:00.020 live with this deeper understanding of yourself, which doesn't 109 00:07:00.020 --> 00:07:03.780 come from a book by the way or some religion, but it just 110 00:07:03.780 --> 00:07:07.220 comes from looking and learning about your own mind. And if you can do 111 00:07:07.220 --> 00:07:11.005 that and it's so simple, you can make the most of 112 00:07:11.005 --> 00:07:13.665 your limited time on it. Wow. That is 113 00:07:14.685 --> 00:07:18.130 so powerful. So powerful to sit here and listen to you speak there. 114 00:07:18.130 --> 00:07:21.490 I know my mind is is absorbing it. I I feel 115 00:07:21.490 --> 00:07:24.790 kind of drawn into the word you're using and 116 00:07:25.264 --> 00:07:28.945 that Margaret Mead paraphrase quote around the small group of 117 00:07:28.945 --> 00:07:31.925 committed individuals can change the world, 118 00:07:33.110 --> 00:07:36.730 it made me reflect on again, I'll paraphrase 119 00:07:36.790 --> 00:07:40.630 this. I don't know who the original quote was. If you we always worry about 120 00:07:40.630 --> 00:07:44.205 time travel, being able to go back in time. And if we if we make 121 00:07:44.205 --> 00:07:47.724 a little change, we could ruin the future, and we could change 122 00:07:47.724 --> 00:07:50.064 irrevocably what happened. 123 00:07:51.410 --> 00:07:55.250 But we can make that change ourselves in the present tense Yes. 124 00:07:55.410 --> 00:07:58.905 And have a a a a a lasting effect on the 125 00:07:58.905 --> 00:08:02.664 future that will occur, yet to occur. But we're we're scared to 126 00:08:02.664 --> 00:08:06.425 time travel back and make a little change, and we're scared to make the change 127 00:08:06.425 --> 00:08:10.039 today. That's a little change. And I I always reflect on 128 00:08:10.259 --> 00:08:14.020 a a video, I think it's Accenture produced one, called Inclusion Starts 129 00:08:14.020 --> 00:08:17.685 With the I, and I was the punchline for me is always be the 130 00:08:17.685 --> 00:08:21.445 one. I can't change the world. I can't change 131 00:08:21.445 --> 00:08:25.205 everything, but I can change me. I could change how I show up. 132 00:08:25.205 --> 00:08:28.770 I could change how I take responsibility. And if I 133 00:08:28.770 --> 00:08:32.610 can exemplify that to others, maybe they 134 00:08:32.610 --> 00:08:36.215 will take inspiration from that change as well. So I think that really 135 00:08:36.294 --> 00:08:40.075 that Margaret Mead was very insightful, and I think it's the root cause that 136 00:08:40.455 --> 00:08:44.220 we can always push it off to somebody else, but we have to take personal 137 00:08:44.220 --> 00:08:47.740 responsibility. And you know you talk to anyone about war, 138 00:08:47.740 --> 00:08:51.579 climate change, and say, oh, somebody else is gonna fix have to fix that. It's 139 00:08:51.579 --> 00:08:55.325 beyond my pay grade. But what I hope to bring up 140 00:08:55.325 --> 00:08:58.925 and show in this conversation is 141 00:08:58.925 --> 00:09:02.770 that each of us can be this light. Find our own 142 00:09:02.770 --> 00:09:06.470 light, and then we can be beacons to shine in the world. 143 00:09:07.090 --> 00:09:10.904 And this process is simple. And each person 144 00:09:10.904 --> 00:09:14.045 can do it and it can transform 145 00:09:14.505 --> 00:09:18.260 our life and the world. You see, the other thing 146 00:09:18.260 --> 00:09:22.020 people get frightened of is change. If I do this, then how 147 00:09:22.020 --> 00:09:25.654 will my life change? And the beauty of this approach is all you're doing is 148 00:09:25.654 --> 00:09:29.175 looking and learning about your your your own mind and your own so you're just 149 00:09:29.175 --> 00:09:32.954 watching and learning. And the change happens effortlessly, 150 00:09:34.030 --> 00:09:37.330 You see, without conflict, without any 151 00:09:37.790 --> 00:09:41.150 kind of resistance, it just flows. Your relationships become 152 00:09:41.150 --> 00:09:44.875 happier, you become happier. And the scale of 153 00:09:44.875 --> 00:09:47.775 the problems, Jo, that we can address with this. 154 00:09:48.635 --> 00:09:52.335 I mean, just imagine if there was just one answer or one solution 155 00:09:53.439 --> 00:09:57.060 that could help prevent the 80% of people 156 00:09:57.199 --> 00:10:00.959 who are stressed, for example, avoid stress, or the 40 to 157 00:10:00.959 --> 00:10:04.025 60% who are anxious, or the 158 00:10:04.805 --> 00:10:08.025 80% of relationships that are in conflict and 50% 159 00:10:08.245 --> 00:10:11.765 breakdown, you know, or the 1 in 6 people who go 160 00:10:11.765 --> 00:10:15.459 and fall into addiction, substance abuse of some kind. 161 00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:19.680 Oh, listen to this one, 17% of 162 00:10:19.680 --> 00:10:23.454 young people are self harming, Look at the amount of distress behind 163 00:10:23.454 --> 00:10:26.755 that. And then I came across one yesterday 164 00:10:27.615 --> 00:10:31.020 because we've got an event coming up on preventing suicide on the 29th 165 00:10:31.020 --> 00:10:34.240 May, and it's a free event. But 166 00:10:34.460 --> 00:10:37.520 1,700,000 Americans in 2021 167 00:10:38.140 --> 00:10:41.895 tried to take their own. So the extent of suffering in the 168 00:10:41.895 --> 00:10:45.675 world is off the scale. And this 169 00:10:46.055 --> 00:10:49.480 deeper understanding of ourselves and how our minds work 170 00:10:50.279 --> 00:10:53.579 can help us take charge of our thinking, 171 00:10:54.120 --> 00:10:57.660 how we feel, how we behave, and it's an answer 172 00:10:58.135 --> 00:11:01.654 to our own self. That's the beauty of it. As a as a species, we've 173 00:11:01.654 --> 00:11:05.280 been around, not not obviously since the beginning of time, but, you know, 174 00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:08.980 a 100000 years, I guess, in, you know, in some shape or form. 175 00:11:10.320 --> 00:11:13.540 Why haven't we solved this problem here? You know, you whatever you're saying 176 00:11:14.365 --> 00:11:18.205 sounds so fundamentally straightforward. What what really is 177 00:11:18.445 --> 00:11:21.425 why why is change such a barrier to people? What's the psychological 178 00:11:22.430 --> 00:11:26.030 barrier to change that we're we're fighting back against? Well, everything 179 00:11:26.030 --> 00:11:29.650 begins with the human mind, which is very capable, 180 00:11:31.004 --> 00:11:34.845 but not wired to be intelligent. There's a difference. And we 181 00:11:34.845 --> 00:11:38.545 are never taught from day 1 how to understand 182 00:11:38.605 --> 00:11:42.250 our own mind. We're always taught about the world around us but not ourselves. 183 00:11:42.790 --> 00:11:46.470 For example, we're all conditioned by our past 184 00:11:46.470 --> 00:11:50.225 experiences and it shapes our opinions, 185 00:11:50.285 --> 00:11:54.125 our beliefs, our habits, everything. What we wear, dress, 186 00:11:54.125 --> 00:11:57.720 eat, what we think about other people. So I was 187 00:11:57.720 --> 00:12:01.480 like talking at Newcastle University once and I asked a lecturer, I 188 00:12:01.480 --> 00:12:05.320 said, where do your opinions come from and why are you 189 00:12:05.320 --> 00:12:08.975 so attached to them? And he said, Manuj, I've been in 190 00:12:08.975 --> 00:12:12.275 education 30 years, nobody's ever asked me that question. 191 00:12:13.535 --> 00:12:17.079 So we are not asking the right questions. 192 00:12:17.380 --> 00:12:21.220 You see? So shall I share a little story about how we could 193 00:12:21.220 --> 00:12:24.645 end war? Okay. And then I'll bring you little kids I'd love to hear it. 194 00:12:24.725 --> 00:12:28.325 Alright. I'd love to hear it. Yeah. I'd love to hear it. It's so simple, 195 00:12:28.325 --> 00:12:32.165 but and of course, if you ask kids they get it in 1. 196 00:12:32.165 --> 00:12:35.620 I'll tell you 2 stories, and they're both true. 197 00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:39.840 So if say you're a Russian and I'm Ukrainian, we're 198 00:12:39.840 --> 00:12:43.615 about to kill each other. We're on a war zone or could be Palestinian, 199 00:12:43.995 --> 00:12:47.055 Israeli, or Indian and Pakistan, doesn't matter where we are. 200 00:12:47.515 --> 00:12:51.130 Shia, Sunni, and we just stop and ask 201 00:12:51.130 --> 00:12:54.970 one question. Why? Why are you and I about to 202 00:12:54.970 --> 00:12:58.605 kill each other? I've not done anything to you, Jo, and you've done 203 00:12:58.605 --> 00:13:01.964 nothing to me, but yet you and I are about to kill each 204 00:13:01.964 --> 00:13:05.725 other. Why is that? And we know that if we kill 205 00:13:05.725 --> 00:13:09.500 each other, we go back home and we'll get a medal. But if we were 206 00:13:09.500 --> 00:13:12.860 on the same side of the line and we killed each other, we'd go to 207 00:13:12.860 --> 00:13:16.654 jail. It's just you see what I mean? How human beings are capable but not 208 00:13:16.654 --> 00:13:20.175 intelligent. Right? And the more people I kill on that side of the 209 00:13:20.175 --> 00:13:23.860 line, the bigger my medal. But on this side of the line, I'll be called 210 00:13:23.860 --> 00:13:27.560 a mass murderer, go to jail, people will remember me, 211 00:13:27.700 --> 00:13:31.135 or, you know, and so on. The sea, it's the same thing but you're taking 212 00:13:31.135 --> 00:13:34.274 a human life anyway. So we stop and ask why? 213 00:13:34.815 --> 00:13:38.495 Why are we killing each other? And then we realize, because you're Russian and 214 00:13:38.495 --> 00:13:41.490 I'm Ukrainian. Okay. Why are you Russian? 215 00:13:42.270 --> 00:13:45.810 Why am I Ukrainian? Oh, because we grew up in Russia and Ukraine. 216 00:13:45.950 --> 00:13:49.105 Okay. Is that enough to make us kill each other? 217 00:13:49.645 --> 00:13:53.265 Oh, no. No. You see, the same unconscious 218 00:13:53.805 --> 00:13:56.305 process of conditioning, which is our influence, 219 00:13:57.540 --> 00:14:00.440 have shaped your identity and have shaped 220 00:14:01.540 --> 00:14:05.214 without our own awareness. See? And yet we've become 221 00:14:05.214 --> 00:14:08.975 attached to that identity, you know. And then as soon as you become 222 00:14:08.975 --> 00:14:12.620 attached to an identity, somebody else can 223 00:14:12.620 --> 00:14:16.459 manipulate your thinking. Whether it's a religious identity, a political one, 224 00:14:16.459 --> 00:14:20.220 doesn't matter what it is. Nationalistic one, but you know, like 225 00:14:20.220 --> 00:14:23.995 you're democrat, republican, whatever, doesn't matter. The moment you and I 226 00:14:23.995 --> 00:14:27.835 see the deep down where the same human being, your heart works in 227 00:14:27.835 --> 00:14:31.650 the same way as mine, we'll say this is doesn't make any sense. Why 228 00:14:31.650 --> 00:14:35.330 would we do that? And we would just put our guns down. Well, whatever, if 229 00:14:35.330 --> 00:14:39.105 we have some differences we'll talk about. So when I put this question to kids, 230 00:14:39.725 --> 00:14:42.524 10 year old, and I've got this recorded on video, I said, how are we 231 00:14:42.524 --> 00:14:46.180 gonna end war? And they said, we need to realize we have the same ice 232 00:14:46.180 --> 00:14:50.020 cream, just different flavors. Chocolate ice cream would 233 00:14:50.020 --> 00:14:53.505 never go to war with vanilla ice cream just because it was different. See? But 234 00:14:53.505 --> 00:14:57.345 we humans do because we don't see that we're the same 235 00:14:57.345 --> 00:15:01.185 human being deep down. And if we saw that really clearly, we wouldn't 236 00:15:01.185 --> 00:15:04.740 kill each other. You know, in the last century, we 237 00:15:04.740 --> 00:15:08.420 humans killed 200,000,000 of our own. No 238 00:15:08.420 --> 00:15:11.880 other species on the world does that. And we think we're intelligent. 239 00:15:12.565 --> 00:15:16.165 See? So real intelligence comes from 240 00:15:16.165 --> 00:15:19.845 understanding our own mind and how it's functioning without our 241 00:15:19.845 --> 00:15:23.520 own awareness. And this is just one example. Does does something come down 242 00:15:23.520 --> 00:15:26.420 to the cognitive dissonance or detachment 243 00:15:27.840 --> 00:15:31.584 of actions, consequences, impact? If 244 00:15:31.584 --> 00:15:35.345 I if I'm killing you, I don't kill you 245 00:15:35.345 --> 00:15:38.485 as a human being. I kill you as a 246 00:15:39.060 --> 00:15:42.660 a stereotype, as a as a a demon or a beast 247 00:15:42.660 --> 00:15:46.340 or because the motivation we have is to 248 00:15:46.340 --> 00:15:50.095 protect what I have and to defend it against somebody who wants 249 00:15:50.095 --> 00:15:53.875 to take what I have. You know, you talked about identity. So 250 00:15:54.015 --> 00:15:57.410 the motivation is the key is the is the understanding what 251 00:15:57.410 --> 00:16:00.870 motivates me to want to do that. What am I trying to protect 252 00:16:01.250 --> 00:16:05.015 that I feel a value that I think you want to take from me? 253 00:16:05.175 --> 00:16:07.815 That's the kind of fundamental, isn't it? Is that is that is that what you're 254 00:16:07.815 --> 00:16:11.195 trying to say? Yes. But it also comes down to understanding 255 00:16:11.255 --> 00:16:14.660 identity. Because if you and I are brothers for 256 00:16:14.660 --> 00:16:18.500 example, we might fight over the spoils, but we probably wouldn't 257 00:16:18.500 --> 00:16:21.995 kill each other, you know, over that. But if you and I have a 258 00:16:21.995 --> 00:16:25.595 different identity which we're attached to, then we lose 259 00:16:25.595 --> 00:16:29.279 control of our own thinking. See? I 260 00:16:29.279 --> 00:16:32.880 mean, take Yugoslavia when it broke up, you know, the 261 00:16:32.880 --> 00:16:36.640 Serbs and Croats and Muslims and Christians live next door to each 262 00:16:36.640 --> 00:16:40.314 other for decades and then suddenly 263 00:16:41.415 --> 00:16:45.190 they turned and started killing each other. Same happened in the partition of India 264 00:16:45.270 --> 00:16:49.110 in 1947, Hindus and Muslims slaughtered each other. So 265 00:16:49.110 --> 00:16:52.330 identity can provide comfort, 266 00:16:52.710 --> 00:16:56.455 security. I'll give you an example. So again, 10 year 267 00:16:56.455 --> 00:16:59.675 old chap, I said you walk into a class 268 00:17:00.215 --> 00:17:04.050 and they're it's got black children and white children and you're a 269 00:17:04.369 --> 00:17:08.130 white boy. Where are you gonna sit? He said, I'm gonna sit with the 270 00:17:08.130 --> 00:17:11.905 white boys, white children. I said, why? He said, I feel safer. 271 00:17:11.905 --> 00:17:15.105 And I said, what else? I said he said, I think they'll understand me better, 272 00:17:15.105 --> 00:17:18.625 and I think they'll listen to me, you know, and so on. And I said, 273 00:17:18.625 --> 00:17:21.090 will you talk to the kids on the other side of the class who are 274 00:17:21.090 --> 00:17:24.410 a different skin color to you? He said, no. No. I won't talk to them 275 00:17:24.410 --> 00:17:27.690 because I'll think they're a bit strange. I said, what happens in 3 months? He 276 00:17:27.690 --> 00:17:31.455 said, oh, well, we'll start having arguments because we're not 277 00:17:31.455 --> 00:17:35.235 talking to each other, we won't understand. I said, what happens if you're a country? 278 00:17:35.695 --> 00:17:39.235 He said, we'll go to war. 10 year olds. And I said, what's the answer? 279 00:17:40.010 --> 00:17:43.690 He said, we have to mix with people who are different. And how 280 00:17:43.690 --> 00:17:46.650 often do we do that you see? You know we all want to be with 281 00:17:46.650 --> 00:17:50.125 people like us, But if we want peace in the world, 282 00:17:50.745 --> 00:17:54.044 we have to reach out and connect 283 00:17:54.424 --> 00:17:58.150 with others who are different. And it's just common sense. See? 284 00:17:58.150 --> 00:18:01.210 It's that sounds fundamentally lazy. 285 00:18:01.990 --> 00:18:05.830 It because affinity bias and people like us, people 286 00:18:05.830 --> 00:18:09.554 like me, it's easier, as you say, to have a conversation, to 287 00:18:09.554 --> 00:18:13.335 relate to each other. If we're trying to interact with people 288 00:18:13.554 --> 00:18:16.919 who have a different lived experience, a different perspective, a different 289 00:18:16.919 --> 00:18:20.220 identity, it takes more cognitive processing 290 00:18:21.000 --> 00:18:24.445 to have conversations and to understand the other person's viewpoint. 291 00:18:24.905 --> 00:18:28.605 Yes. So it it does it come down to laziness and 292 00:18:28.665 --> 00:18:32.170 and our innate sense of just 293 00:18:32.570 --> 00:18:36.250 keeping the status quo. That's that's the challenge here. I I don't I don't want 294 00:18:36.250 --> 00:18:39.770 to invest time in finding out about you because I also don't think you want 295 00:18:39.770 --> 00:18:43.505 to invest time finding about me. Therefore, I just talk to my my my like 296 00:18:43.505 --> 00:18:47.125 minded people. Is that is that what's going on? Well, we're not curious 297 00:18:47.185 --> 00:18:50.430 anymore, you see, Jo. We are as children, 298 00:18:50.810 --> 00:18:54.570 but our education system does 2 things. It kills 299 00:18:54.570 --> 00:18:58.095 our love for learning, and it kills our curiosity. 300 00:18:58.395 --> 00:19:02.155 So when you're a child, you're really curious about everything. You're 301 00:19:02.155 --> 00:19:05.215 curious about other people you meet and you want to know. 302 00:19:05.980 --> 00:19:09.740 But as adults, that suddenly been gradually taken out of us. So 303 00:19:09.740 --> 00:19:13.580 when I meet someone who's different, I meet that person 304 00:19:13.580 --> 00:19:17.325 with fear, lack of interest. But actually, if you 305 00:19:17.325 --> 00:19:21.165 think about it, if I'm curious, there's so much I can learn from 306 00:19:21.165 --> 00:19:24.930 you, you know, your everything that you're 307 00:19:24.930 --> 00:19:28.770 different about is an opportunity for me to learn to enrich my life with that. 308 00:19:28.770 --> 00:19:31.970 You know, the books you read, the poetry, the food you eat, or whatever it 309 00:19:31.970 --> 00:19:34.835 is you're thinking, we've lost that curiosity. 310 00:19:35.855 --> 00:19:39.375 So our mind is wired in a 311 00:19:39.375 --> 00:19:42.750 particular way and this the way it's wired right 312 00:19:42.750 --> 00:19:46.429 now is creating all these problems. So every problem 313 00:19:46.429 --> 00:19:50.075 we humans face for which there's no easy answer begins 314 00:19:50.075 --> 00:19:53.755 in our thinking and all the problems we talked about earlier. So 315 00:19:53.755 --> 00:19:57.355 simply logical that if we had a better understanding of this mind of 316 00:19:57.355 --> 00:20:00.910 ours, we could avoid those problems 317 00:20:01.450 --> 00:20:04.590 and overcome them much more easily. And 318 00:20:05.130 --> 00:20:08.845 because there's so many of them, I mean for example, we could talk about 319 00:20:08.845 --> 00:20:12.544 addiction if you like. You know, addiction is a problem of thinking. 320 00:20:12.684 --> 00:20:16.365 It's not a problem linked to alcohol or drugs. Obesity is a 321 00:20:16.365 --> 00:20:19.760 problem of thinking. It's not linked to food 322 00:20:19.820 --> 00:20:23.260 because we know what we need to do, but we find difficult to self 323 00:20:23.260 --> 00:20:26.775 regulate our emotions and therefore our 324 00:20:26.775 --> 00:20:30.395 habits around food, drink, all that stuff. So 325 00:20:30.615 --> 00:20:34.135 this if you begin this journey of just looking and 326 00:20:34.135 --> 00:20:37.630 learning about your own, it awakens your own inner 327 00:20:37.630 --> 00:20:41.330 intelligence. And you don't need to be educated for that, by the way. 328 00:20:42.190 --> 00:20:46.035 In fact, the more educated you are, the the more 329 00:20:46.255 --> 00:20:50.015 clever arguments you have why, you know, you're okay as you are and 330 00:20:50.015 --> 00:20:53.769 you're not interested in learning. But I believe if we could bring this to 331 00:20:53.769 --> 00:20:57.309 every child and adult in the world, we could help them 332 00:20:57.529 --> 00:21:01.230 flourish and live in peace. After all, 333 00:21:01.289 --> 00:21:04.945 happiness is peace, you see. If you ask anybody, what do you want from your 334 00:21:04.945 --> 00:21:08.245 life? They say I wanna be happy. And happiness is 335 00:21:08.705 --> 00:21:12.320 really at the core of it is living with peace. Because all our 336 00:21:12.320 --> 00:21:16.000 pleasures as you know fade, you know, you have a new car, next week it's 337 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:19.279 an old car. You go on holiday as soon as you come back it's finished 338 00:21:19.279 --> 00:21:22.955 and so on. But peace is the thing that each human being 339 00:21:22.955 --> 00:21:26.315 wants, and no matter how much wealth and power and fame you 340 00:21:26.315 --> 00:21:30.070 accumulate, peace is the one thing that's missing in 341 00:21:30.070 --> 00:21:33.830 most human hearts. And this understanding of 342 00:21:33.830 --> 00:21:37.590 ourselves can bring us that elusive peace 343 00:21:37.590 --> 00:21:41.415 that we chase all our lives. And if I live in peace 344 00:21:41.415 --> 00:21:45.255 with myself, then I can live in peace with you. And then we can have 345 00:21:45.255 --> 00:21:49.015 peace in the world. You used the word elusive there, in search 346 00:21:49.015 --> 00:21:52.760 of peace. It's it's the it's the challenge 347 00:21:52.760 --> 00:21:56.120 we have. It's we don't we're not able 348 00:21:56.120 --> 00:21:59.585 to set a bound or 349 00:21:59.585 --> 00:22:03.205 a definition of what happiness and peace means to us. 350 00:22:03.585 --> 00:22:07.240 So I found more joy by 351 00:22:07.240 --> 00:22:11.000 thinking about sufficiency, whereas in my life where 352 00:22:11.000 --> 00:22:14.625 I was looking for acquisition, for growth, for 353 00:22:14.625 --> 00:22:17.125 more, for bigger, for faster, and newer, 354 00:22:18.065 --> 00:22:21.800 that was like like a drug that I chased, and and 355 00:22:21.800 --> 00:22:25.480 you could never be satisfied because it's always one more. And it's like 356 00:22:25.480 --> 00:22:28.940 dreaming about winning the lottery. You think, well, if I won £10,000,000, 357 00:22:29.400 --> 00:22:32.945 is that really enough? I really need 20,000,000 to have 358 00:22:32.945 --> 00:22:36.405 every the life I want. So we we always tend to want this 359 00:22:36.545 --> 00:22:40.290 plus 1, plus a 100, plus a1000000. And he's 360 00:22:40.290 --> 00:22:43.730 trying to rein that back to to move that 361 00:22:43.730 --> 00:22:47.510 elusiveness of happiness to one of sufficiency 362 00:22:48.050 --> 00:22:51.654 and satisfaction with what we have now 363 00:22:51.654 --> 00:22:55.414 or realistically can achieve without wanting more. And I 364 00:22:55.414 --> 00:22:58.554 think yeah. Listen to what you're talking about there. It's the conflicts. 365 00:22:59.890 --> 00:23:03.730 It's often about acquisition of more. I want your territory. I 366 00:23:03.730 --> 00:23:07.534 want you to do what I want. And if if if I 367 00:23:07.534 --> 00:23:11.294 was sufficient in my mind thinking, I'm happy for you to be 368 00:23:11.294 --> 00:23:14.754 you and be who you are. I don't need you to be me 369 00:23:15.300 --> 00:23:19.060 or I to be you. Yeah. And I think is that that that that's the 370 00:23:19.060 --> 00:23:22.740 thing we're chasing is gluttony for one of a better way of describing 371 00:23:22.740 --> 00:23:26.585 it. But you see the way our mind is wired is automatically 372 00:23:26.965 --> 00:23:30.645 driving us in that direction. So without understanding this 373 00:23:30.645 --> 00:23:34.260 hidden driver in our mind that's pushing us in that direction. 374 00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:38.559 You can try and stop it. You somebody might listen to me or you and 375 00:23:38.559 --> 00:23:42.325 say, no. No. Tomorrow, I'm going to try and be content 376 00:23:42.325 --> 00:23:46.005 with what I have. It doesn't work because the inner 377 00:23:46.005 --> 00:23:49.120 driver is so powerful, it's gonna keep on pushing you. 378 00:23:49.840 --> 00:23:53.280 So let's take a moment to explore that. What is it in 379 00:23:53.280 --> 00:23:56.880 us that drives us to accumulate more and 380 00:23:56.880 --> 00:23:59.955 more and more and never be satisfied. 381 00:24:00.335 --> 00:24:03.935 See? And maybe it's in 382 00:24:03.935 --> 00:24:07.710 us all is this deeper emptiness. Call it 383 00:24:07.710 --> 00:24:11.330 inner boredom, call it the void. And the more we get stimulated 384 00:24:11.550 --> 00:24:15.150 from the outside, the more we can cover it up, you know, call it 385 00:24:15.150 --> 00:24:18.735 loneliness. So but the nature of pleasure is 386 00:24:18.735 --> 00:24:22.415 such that I get a new car, it's an old car, new shirt, it's an 387 00:24:22.415 --> 00:24:25.500 old shirt, so I need a new one, you see. So I'm constantly 388 00:24:25.960 --> 00:24:29.799 chasing something on the outside to make me feel 389 00:24:29.799 --> 00:24:33.179 good on the inside. But if we pause and ask, 390 00:24:33.625 --> 00:24:37.385 why don't I feel good on the inside? What's going on? Because 391 00:24:37.385 --> 00:24:40.924 if I could answer that question and find the peace 392 00:24:40.985 --> 00:24:44.560 within me, right, then I don't need to 393 00:24:44.560 --> 00:24:48.240 chase all this stuff on the outside. Then I'll get what I need, you 394 00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:51.600 know, I don't whatever it is I need and 395 00:24:51.600 --> 00:24:55.404 the answer to that is first to wake up and 396 00:24:55.404 --> 00:24:58.865 realize this inner emptiness that we all have as human beings. 397 00:24:59.500 --> 00:25:03.100 We cover it up very cleverly, you know, through all our 398 00:25:03.100 --> 00:25:06.620 acquisitions and relationships and power and all of that. But the 399 00:25:06.620 --> 00:25:09.865 emptiness does never goes away. So the answer 400 00:25:10.804 --> 00:25:14.245 is to lean into it, is to stay with it and then it 401 00:25:14.245 --> 00:25:17.420