WEBVTT 00:00:07.440 --> 00:00:11.219 Welcome to Inclusion Bites, your sanctuary 00:00:11.360 --> 00:00:15.125 for bold conversations that spark change. I'm Joanne Lockwood, 00:00:15.265 --> 00:00:19.205 your guide on this journey of exploration into the heart of inclusion, 00:00:19.825 --> 00:00:23.424 belonging, and societal transformation. Ever 00:00:23.425 --> 00:00:27.264 wondered what it truly takes to create a world where everyone not 00:00:27.265 --> 00:00:30.550 only belongs but thrives? You're not 00:00:30.930 --> 00:00:34.149 alone. Join me as we uncover the unseen, 00:00:34.690 --> 00:00:38.629 challenge the status quo, and share stories that resonate 00:00:38.770 --> 00:00:42.769 deep within. Ready to dive in? Whether you're sipping 00:00:42.770 --> 00:00:46.424 your morning coffee or winding down after a long day, let's 00:00:46.425 --> 00:00:49.885 connect, reflect, and inspire action 00:00:50.025 --> 00:00:53.704 together. Don't forget, you can be part of the conversation 00:00:53.705 --> 00:00:57.140 too. Reach out to jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk 00:00:59.200 --> 00:01:02.739 to share your insights or to join me on the show. 00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:07.199 So adjust your earbuds and settle in. It's time to 00:01:07.200 --> 00:01:10.115 ignite the spark of inclusion with Inclusion 00:01:13.375 --> 00:01:17.075 Bites. Today 00:01:17.215 --> 00:01:20.275 is episode 151 with the title, 00:01:21.295 --> 00:01:25.259 which redefining normal. And I have the absolute honor and 00:01:25.260 --> 00:01:28.880 privilege to welcome Crystal Jordan. Crystal is an autism 00:01:28.940 --> 00:01:32.779 advocate, author, philanthropist, dedicated to raising 00:01:32.780 --> 00:01:36.160 awareness and empowering families to embrace neurodiversity. 00:01:37.335 --> 00:01:41.173 When I asked Crystal to describe her superpower, she said, it 00:01:41.174 --> 00:01:44.853 is her ability to amplify unheard voices and 00:01:44.854 --> 00:01:48.715 foster inclusion through advocacy, storytelling, and 00:01:48.854 --> 00:01:52.080 resilience. Hello, Crystal. Welcome to the show. 00:01:52.940 --> 00:01:55.280 First off, I'm so happy to be here 00:01:57.180 --> 00:02:00.960 We were chatting just now before we went live, and I understand you're 00:02:01.100 --> 00:02:04.894 based in Atlanta, Georgia in the US? Yes. I 00:02:04.895 --> 00:02:08.814 am based in Atlanta, Georgia, and it 00:02:08.815 --> 00:02:12.734 is cold here. It's too cold here. Yeah. 00:02:12.735 --> 00:02:16.574 I always thought Atlanta, that part of America was kind of 00:02:16.575 --> 00:02:20.539 like hot, humid, and sticky all year round, but you've had 00:02:20.540 --> 00:02:24.539 a snow warning, haven't you? Yes. And, actually, most of our kids 00:02:24.540 --> 00:02:28.380 are out of school today. Because it's so cold, we're out 00:02:28.460 --> 00:02:32.393 they're out of school. We all do cold in the south. No. 00:02:32.394 --> 00:02:36.393 So this is really unusual temperature for January, is it? Yes. It 00:02:36.394 --> 00:02:40.095 is. Wow. Hey. Who said 00:02:40.314 --> 00:02:43.673 climate change is not happening? It's our climate. We've definitely got some climate change there, 00:02:43.674 --> 00:02:46.869 haven't we? Oh my god. I hate it. It's so cold. That's why I have 00:02:46.870 --> 00:02:50.709 all this winter dress because I'm freezing. Yeah. Well 00:02:50.710 --> 00:02:54.570 well, we'll get talking, and we'll warm ourselves up in the conversation. How about that? 00:02:54.710 --> 00:02:57.690 That's that deal? I love that. So, Crystal, 00:02:58.754 --> 00:03:02.753 your journey as an autism advocate, and you also founded Zacharias 00:03:02.754 --> 00:03:06.694 World, which you could tell us more about, is really really inspiring from our conversations. 00:03:07.635 --> 00:03:11.499 How would you turn your personal experiences into a mission for inclusion and 00:03:11.500 --> 00:03:15.499 empowerment? What inspired you for that? So what inspired me behind any 00:03:15.500 --> 00:03:19.339 brand I'm doing dealing with autism is my son. He was diagnosed with 00:03:19.340 --> 00:03:23.280 autism when he was 2 years old. And since he's been 3, 00:03:24.465 --> 00:03:28.384 that's when I started writing books and doing so much. But I didn't call 00:03:28.385 --> 00:03:32.384 myself a advocate until people kept calling me a 00:03:32.385 --> 00:03:36.304 advocate. And I said, well, I guess I'm a advocate. So he's the reason 00:03:36.305 --> 00:03:40.078 behind everything that I'm doing because I want to create a 00:03:40.079 --> 00:03:43.999 world where he can get jobs when he's older. He can 00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:47.839 go to college. He can have family, and people understand, yes, 00:03:47.840 --> 00:03:51.839 he's autistic, but he's more to his disability. I don't want people 00:03:51.840 --> 00:03:55.394 to look at autistic people and be like, oh my god. They're autistic. 00:03:55.855 --> 00:03:59.635 No. Embrace them for who they are. Treat them like a human being, 00:04:00.095 --> 00:04:03.715 and let's hire them and make sure our companies have training. 00:04:04.974 --> 00:04:08.759 I I titled this episode, redefining normal. Who 00:04:08.760 --> 00:04:12.759 decides what is normal? Zacharias, he's got his own normal, 00:04:12.760 --> 00:04:16.679 hasn't he? He's got his own personality years over years. But as a 00:04:16.680 --> 00:04:20.679 society, we wanna put a label on someone. Yeah. The autism label. Yes. It 00:04:20.680 --> 00:04:24.405 helps provide support for them. But what why 00:04:24.465 --> 00:04:27.365 why do we need to divide people up in this way? 00:04:28.225 --> 00:04:32.224 So for me, I actually do not use the word 00:04:32.225 --> 00:04:36.029 normal. I feel like for me, it's a 00:04:36.030 --> 00:04:39.949 physicist. Not the not the name that you put you you titled for the 00:04:39.950 --> 00:04:43.469 podcast. I love the name you titled for the podcast because we can dive deeper 00:04:43.470 --> 00:04:46.930 into the conversation. What is normal? So 00:04:47.310 --> 00:04:51.054 my son is atypical, and I look at normal like 00:04:51.055 --> 00:04:55.054 this. You cook your chicken one way. I cook 00:04:55.055 --> 00:04:59.054 my chicken one way. Now that's normal to you, but that's not 00:04:59.055 --> 00:05:02.969 normal to me. We have to look at people in the same way. We 00:05:02.970 --> 00:05:06.649 can be we go for example, I can be from the UK, and you can 00:05:06.650 --> 00:05:10.489 be from the UK. But we still have 2 different ways of thinking 00:05:10.490 --> 00:05:14.440 and looking, and that's to me, that is normal. So yes. 00:05:14.805 --> 00:05:18.404 Yeah. So we're all normal in our own head, aren't we? We all we all 00:05:18.405 --> 00:05:21.444 think in the same eye. I often talk to people and I've talked to people 00:05:21.445 --> 00:05:25.364 about neurodiversity in the past. You see the world through your own lens, through your 00:05:25.365 --> 00:05:29.138 own sense of self. And if if your IQ is 00:05:29.139 --> 00:05:32.680 low or you're high, the world is referenced by you. 00:05:32.819 --> 00:05:36.739 So presumably, Zachariah just sees the world around him as the world around him. He 00:05:36.740 --> 00:05:40.179 doesn't have any different definition of who he is than he is, who he's always 00:05:40.180 --> 00:05:44.005 been, isn't he? Right. And I I feel like sometimes us 00:05:44.305 --> 00:05:48.304 as people, we we overlook what normal is like. So 00:05:48.305 --> 00:05:52.304 I feel like when you see people with disabilities, people just treat 00:05:52.305 --> 00:05:56.099 them differently, and it shouldn't even be a thing. So 00:05:56.100 --> 00:05:59.800 how did, you you first become aware of 00:06:00.500 --> 00:06:04.419 Zach's superpower, if you like, his autism? How did you become aware of that? What 00:06:04.420 --> 00:06:07.880 led you to believe that he was, atypical, 00:06:08.340 --> 00:06:12.314 to use your words? So Is that Zach in the 00:06:12.315 --> 00:06:16.154 background? He is back in the background. To answer your question, I did 00:06:16.155 --> 00:06:20.073 not know my son was autistic. Looking back, it was science there, but I 00:06:20.074 --> 00:06:23.870 didn't know what autism was. I didn't know what he was doing, of course. 00:06:23.930 --> 00:06:27.849 So I started to learn, but his 00:06:27.850 --> 00:06:31.769 doctor at 8 months told me that, hey, I think I think Zachary is 00:06:31.770 --> 00:06:35.689 autistic. His doctor is a pediatrician and his doctor 00:06:35.690 --> 00:06:39.374 has an autistic son. She's asked, he saw us. So then 00:06:39.375 --> 00:06:43.293 after that, my best friend, she said it too. And then my 00:06:43.294 --> 00:06:47.155 son's dad mom said it as well. And I still didn't believe him 00:06:47.535 --> 00:06:51.155 at that this point. And I'm like, I don't think my son is autistic. 00:06:51.560 --> 00:06:55.399 But when he turned because he was hitting all his milestones, but when he turned 00:06:55.400 --> 00:06:58.860 1, that's when I thought to pay attention. Like, 00:06:59.160 --> 00:07:03.159 he's not he wasn't walking at 1 yet. So I said, okay. That's 00:07:03.160 --> 00:07:07.114 a delay. Not put it back. And I said, that's 00:07:07.115 --> 00:07:10.095 not the delay. Sock for y'all. Then I also, 00:07:11.355 --> 00:07:15.194 when he turned 2, he wasn't talking. He, he, he didn't have certain words in 00:07:15.195 --> 00:07:18.954 his vocabulary. He wasn't out 200 words in your vocabulary at the age of 2 00:07:18.955 --> 00:07:22.819 years old, but he didn't have that. So for me, that 00:07:22.820 --> 00:07:26.819 was concerning, and that was like, okay. I think my 00:07:26.820 --> 00:07:30.280 child may be autistic. So I need to make sure 00:07:30.580 --> 00:07:34.419 that I figured it out. Oh, you're having a sing song in the background there, 00:07:34.420 --> 00:07:38.323 isn't he? He he is having the time of his life. He right now, with 00:07:38.324 --> 00:07:41.705 the audience, what you guys are hearing, you're hearing my son stem, 00:07:42.245 --> 00:07:46.163 and he's vocally stemming. There's something he cannot help. Well, he's 00:07:46.164 --> 00:07:49.439 telling to be quiet, and he'll go back right back to it. So that's what 00:07:49.440 --> 00:07:53.199 you're hearing now. But he was diagnosed. I remember he was 00:07:53.200 --> 00:07:56.959 active. I remember going to the doctor, his doctor, and then a walk in. 00:07:56.960 --> 00:08:00.799 And the crazy thing about it, she normally is too busy to take walk ins, 00:08:00.800 --> 00:08:04.674 but she knew that I was ready at this point to 00:08:04.675 --> 00:08:08.514 realize that, hey. My son may be autistic. She 00:08:08.515 --> 00:08:11.575 riddled my referrals to Market Center in Atlanta, Georgia, 00:08:12.675 --> 00:08:16.615 and it was the best decision ever because Market Center is amazing. 00:08:16.675 --> 00:08:20.448 He was diagnosed on a Friday, and 00:08:20.449 --> 00:08:24.389 I took him to the fair. Never forget. I cried at the fair. I grieved 00:08:24.610 --> 00:08:28.209 what I thought she was gonna be. And that Monday, I was 00:08:28.210 --> 00:08:31.830 calling speech, a b a l t, and I remember 00:08:32.105 --> 00:08:35.704 a provider saying your son was just diagnosed. Your son was just 00:08:35.705 --> 00:08:39.464 diagnosed. And here you are calling to get him 00:08:39.465 --> 00:08:43.224 services. That's amazing. And I know a lot of PRs are not like 00:08:43.225 --> 00:08:47.049 me, but I knew in my head, my auntie was a 00:08:47.050 --> 00:08:50.888 special need teacher. I knew I had to be his advocate. I knew I had 00:08:50.889 --> 00:08:54.809 to get for him to get where I want him to be in life. I 00:08:54.810 --> 00:08:58.569 have to push that and I have to be that voice because my son is 00:08:58.570 --> 00:09:02.444 nonverbal. He does not have he's not vocal like you and 00:09:02.445 --> 00:09:06.444 I. So is it anyone's listening. Zach just came on on the video here, 00:09:06.445 --> 00:09:08.844 and he he gave you a big hug and a kiss, didn't he? And then 00:09:08.845 --> 00:09:12.844 nipped off again. So he's such a cutie. But 00:09:12.845 --> 00:09:15.665 he has all these terms banned around autism, autistic, 00:09:16.500 --> 00:09:20.339 neurodiverse, ADHD. Can you explain those different 00:09:20.340 --> 00:09:23.699 terms just for people who are listening? So I so I can understand them as 00:09:23.700 --> 00:09:27.560 well. So all of those terms you just stated is neurodiversity. 00:09:28.565 --> 00:09:32.564 So pretty much the best way I can describe it is they just all 00:09:32.565 --> 00:09:36.244 think differently. Look at, look at the world differently. And it, but for me, it's 00:09:36.245 --> 00:09:40.004 nothing wrong with them because they are awesome just the way they 00:09:40.005 --> 00:09:43.939 are. We just have to learn to adapt to them and understand their way 00:09:43.940 --> 00:09:47.560 of learning. But it's just one big umbrella of neurodiversity, 00:09:48.260 --> 00:09:52.099 and autism falls right under there. I get I get it. And 00:09:52.100 --> 00:09:55.814 Zach's particular variety, if you want, of of autism is being 00:09:55.815 --> 00:09:59.734 nonverbal. He has autism and ADM. So he has attention deficit 00:09:59.735 --> 00:10:03.195 disorder as well. So he's hyper and, intense. 00:10:03.575 --> 00:10:06.635 Super super hyper. Like, it is intense. 00:10:07.815 --> 00:10:11.709 So right now, he's quiet in a sense, but he is 00:10:11.710 --> 00:10:15.309 hyper. So what what challenges does that bring 00:10:15.310 --> 00:10:18.989 you as a parent? You know, you you obviously when you're 00:10:18.990 --> 00:10:22.684 pregnant, you're planning your family, you're thinking about having a child, and 00:10:22.685 --> 00:10:26.604 then you have to learn how, 00:10:26.605 --> 00:10:30.604 as a parent, you you can adapt to an autistic child. What were 00:10:30.605 --> 00:10:34.469 the challenges that you find in that adaptation? You know what's 00:10:34.470 --> 00:10:37.690 crazy? I love to be super transparent in interviews. 00:10:38.310 --> 00:10:42.170 When I was pregnant, I was depressed. I was not looking forward to my pregnancy. 00:10:42.310 --> 00:10:46.090 When I was pregnant, my Zachariah was a threatening miscarriage. 00:10:46.470 --> 00:10:50.225 So I was high risk. A threatening miscarriage is before you have a miscarriage. 00:10:51.245 --> 00:10:54.844 So that's before you lose the baby. But God was 00:10:54.845 --> 00:10:58.465 fortunate enough to spare him because he's here today. 00:10:59.005 --> 00:11:02.625 So I did not really plan anything he was born 00:11:03.050 --> 00:11:06.648 because I wasn't sure if he was gonna go live because they wasn't sure was 00:11:06.649 --> 00:11:10.489 he gonna come out as stillborn or come out with a disability. They even 00:11:10.490 --> 00:11:14.350 asked I would terminate my pregnancy. Zack's joining in again if you're listening in. 00:11:14.889 --> 00:11:18.725 Yeah. He wants some attention. He he's like, no. I wanna be here. 00:11:18.945 --> 00:11:22.225 I'm looking at him like he's he's like this with the tablet. But, he 00:11:23.505 --> 00:11:27.205 Hi, Zach. He he's so funny. 00:11:27.665 --> 00:11:31.419 But that was part of my pregnancy. I didn't get 00:11:31.420 --> 00:11:35.019 attached to my child until he came out on my womb, and I put him 00:11:35.020 --> 00:11:38.240 on me. So just to be super transparent, 00:11:39.340 --> 00:11:41.979 I did I was not attached to my child while I was pregnant, so I 00:11:41.980 --> 00:11:45.964 did not plan anything for him because my 00:11:45.965 --> 00:11:49.564 midwife was telling me that, Hey, he may come out stillborn. He may come out 00:11:49.565 --> 00:11:53.564 with disability. So we don't, you know, I, I just wasn't sure if I was 00:11:53.565 --> 00:11:57.484 gonna have a healthy baby, so I didn't plan. To answer that question. 00:11:57.485 --> 00:12:01.220 And I know you like, wow, that is, that is very true. 00:12:01.280 --> 00:12:05.279 How I navigate having an autistic child. I'm not going to lie. 00:12:05.280 --> 00:12:08.980 I have, I have challenges. Oops. Sometimes I hate it 00:12:09.120 --> 00:12:12.799 because I remember it was a point when he had ABA, he has 00:12:12.800 --> 00:12:16.784 speech, he had OT and he had feeding therapy and then he had 00:12:16.785 --> 00:12:20.565 tennis. So that's 5 different things I had to navigate 00:12:20.785 --> 00:12:23.824 to take him to. Plus I'm a single mom, me and his dad are not 00:12:23.825 --> 00:12:27.045 together. So doing all of this just will just by crystal 00:12:27.505 --> 00:12:31.479 and crystal alone is a lot. Like, yes, my parents 00:12:31.480 --> 00:12:35.398 are my village. My parents help me, help me with my child, but they are 00:12:35.399 --> 00:12:39.398 not taking him to these services because that's me. He 00:12:39.399 --> 00:12:43.398 like, it's a lot. And I navigate it now. It's like easy 00:12:43.399 --> 00:12:47.104 breezy, but I used to be overwhelmed and stressed. Wow. Like, 00:12:47.105 --> 00:12:51.023 it's too much, but I came up with a decision that works. I honestly 00:12:51.024 --> 00:12:54.944 stopped some services to work on my mental health because it was 00:12:54.945 --> 00:12:58.624 just too much. He really I mean, he he sounds so adorable just listening to 00:12:58.625 --> 00:13:02.609 him. I I I presume he's quite amfool sometimes as well. His 00:13:02.610 --> 00:13:06.369 autism with ADHD must make mean that you have to have 00:13:06.370 --> 00:13:09.990 patience for Saint. We've he he's not gonna 00:13:10.450 --> 00:13:14.049 conform to societal's expectations around being 00:13:14.050 --> 00:13:18.024 quiet, sitting still. I mean, it's actually a 00:13:18.025 --> 00:13:21.544 pleasure to have Zac joining into the call. You know, we're why why should we 00:13:21.545 --> 00:13:24.984 exclude him here? His voice is there, so let's bring him in. Oh, there he 00:13:24.985 --> 00:13:28.125 is. I can see him again. Yeah. So 00:13:29.350 --> 00:13:32.869 what what was the hardest thing you had to get to learn and adapt to? 00:13:32.870 --> 00:13:36.389 That is an amazing question. So you just taught me. What was the 00:13:36.390 --> 00:13:39.610 hardest thing I had to adapt to? 00:13:41.110 --> 00:13:45.054 Okay. The hardest thing I had to adapt to is my, the 00:13:45.055 --> 00:13:48.915 way I navigate. No. I treat my son like he's my client. 00:13:49.454 --> 00:13:53.294 So when, when I go into the school, I'm his advocate first. I'm 00:13:53.295 --> 00:13:57.294 not his mom. When I give him services, I tell people 00:13:57.295 --> 00:14:01.010 out of service providers. I'm his I'm his advocate. 00:14:01.470 --> 00:14:05.469 Yes. I'm his mom on paper, but I'm telling you right now, I'm an 00:14:05.470 --> 00:14:09.389 advocate, and I'm not I don't play with him. So the hardest part 00:14:09.390 --> 00:14:13.315 is we cutting off the mom and me being an advocate. 00:14:13.375 --> 00:14:17.374 But it had actually, it's been so easy because with me being 00:14:17.375 --> 00:14:21.374 the advocate first, I've gotten him so much, especially 00:14:21.375 --> 00:14:25.374 in the school system. I got him so much. It's amazing 00:14:25.375 --> 00:14:29.289 how much I got him. So let me just clarify what what's 00:14:29.290 --> 00:14:33.208 going through my head here. So a mom, you're emotionally connected. You're 00:14:33.209 --> 00:14:36.910 kind of involved with it. Advocate. You're logical. You're demanding. 00:14:37.290 --> 00:14:41.284 You're ensuring you're getting the best. And that that's kind 00:14:41.285 --> 00:14:44.244 of the difference is that as a mom, you may think I won't push too 00:14:44.245 --> 00:14:47.945 hard or all these kind of things. So by going advocate first, you're you're 00:14:48.165 --> 00:14:52.004 challenging and making sure people are listening to you to deliver the right 00:14:52.005 --> 00:14:55.540 things. Do I interpret that right? You are a 100% 00:14:55.760 --> 00:14:59.439 right. That's exactly how I am in in any 00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:03.439 settings. When when I'm an advocate, it's no feelings. This 00:15:03.440 --> 00:15:07.294 is I'm gonna give you the loan. I'm gonna break down the 00:15:07.295 --> 00:15:11.294 ethic codes. We're going to to discuss his goals. We're gonna 00:15:11.295 --> 00:15:15.213 discuss for ABA. We're gonna discuss his programs. Are they appropriate for him? 00:15:15.214 --> 00:15:18.979 Are they appropriate for what I want for him as a adult? That is the 00:15:18.980 --> 00:15:22.499 side you'll give me. The mom is like, oh, okay. 00:15:22.500 --> 00:15:25.960 No. No. That's that's so this 00:15:26.660 --> 00:15:30.040 year well, where is this 125? Last year, 00:15:31.025 --> 00:15:34.224 they, people didn't get the mom's side of me. They got the advocate side of 00:15:34.225 --> 00:15:37.925 me. And like when my son's teacher, I love her. 00:15:39.025 --> 00:15:42.784 She gets both. Cause I, I turn it on and off on field 00:15:42.785 --> 00:15:46.539 trips. I'm a or I come in to 00:15:46.540 --> 00:15:49.839 discuss my son. He's advocate. So she sees both. 00:15:51.420 --> 00:15:55.338 I turn it on and off. It's it's it's it's, you know, or it's it's 00:15:55.339 --> 00:15:59.184 easy. I turn it on and off all the time. Yeah. I I I 00:15:59.185 --> 00:16:03.104 think I haven't kept I'm not nice. I'm not nice. I know that. 00:16:03.105 --> 00:16:06.084 And when I say I'm not nice, I'm very firm. So 00:16:07.345 --> 00:16:11.129 if I know what I'm talking about, which most of the time I do, I'm 00:16:11.130 --> 00:16:15.129 going to address it. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be very, very, very 00:16:15.130 --> 00:16:18.809 affirming and firm. And like right now, we deal with a 00:16:18.810 --> 00:16:22.809 situation. Well, not anymore because I already addressed it. We was working with this 00:16:22.810 --> 00:16:26.734 company and this company was terrible and they did not get the 00:16:26.735 --> 00:16:30.115 nice advocate. They got the advocate that 00:16:30.255 --> 00:16:34.254 knew everything, and that was they ended up 00:16:34.255 --> 00:16:38.254 getting to see like, the regional director involved because it 00:16:38.255 --> 00:16:42.219 it was so bad. So it's two sides to my advocate side when 00:16:42.220 --> 00:16:45.099 he's calling my son. And after when I started treatment, I know I do the 00:16:45.100 --> 00:16:48.939 same thing for a client. I'm very serious about people 00:16:48.940 --> 00:16:52.699 treating them how they should be treated, and they're getting the services they should 00:16:52.700 --> 00:16:56.404 get. Yeah. I I I hear what you're saying there. And I've just turned 60. 00:16:56.545 --> 00:17:00.384 My parents are are quite old now. My wife's parents are quite old. And we've 00:17:00.385 --> 00:17:04.384 we've learned that we need to go to advocate mode to engage with 00:17:04.385 --> 00:17:08.165 health care professionals, care professionals, whatever it may be. Because if you go in 00:17:08.830 --> 00:17:12.349 as as a daughter, you go in as a as a family member, and you 00:17:12.350 --> 00:17:15.469 know they gotta push back or ignore you or not talk to you. So you 00:17:15.470 --> 00:17:19.429 have to be brutally firm with people in order 00:17:19.430 --> 00:17:22.654 to get not not rude, but just really, really firm. You have to know what 00:17:22.655 --> 00:17:26.173 you're gonna get. Because we've been through so many situations where we come away 00:17:26.174 --> 00:17:29.854 going, they didn't listen or we didn't get something or we need to add we 00:17:29.855 --> 00:17:33.533 need to get more out of this. And you learn very quickly that unless you 00:17:33.534 --> 00:17:37.428 advocate and you're firm with it and keep on it, people will not give you 00:17:37.429 --> 00:17:40.949 the respect or the service you need. And I think that's 00:17:40.950 --> 00:17:44.570 unfortunate when we really like dive into the word advocate. 00:17:45.030 --> 00:17:48.869 So I have a best friend who's and I'm going to advocate for her, who 00:17:48.870 --> 00:17:52.544 is my godson. What is funny is when you use the word 00:17:52.545 --> 00:17:56.304 advocate, it's like things change. It's like, oh, they got to 00:17:56.305 --> 00:18:00.224 advocate. Let me get my stuff together. And I think that's unfortunate. Why not? 00:18:00.225 --> 00:18:03.765 When it comes to our special needs kids, our ADHD kids, 00:18:04.340 --> 00:18:08.259 our near diverse kids, why not? When 00:18:08.260 --> 00:18:12.259 when that kid get enrolled, why not have a welcome pamphlet talking 00:18:12.260 --> 00:18:16.179 about the law, talking about what you need as a parent, talking about 00:18:16.180 --> 00:18:20.004 resources, talking about things that will help you 00:18:20.005 --> 00:18:23.684 navigate in the school system to better your kid's life in 00:18:23.685 --> 00:18:27.625 longevity outside of school, inside of even in the educational 00:18:27.925 --> 00:18:31.764 realm. What you know, why not? In high school, it should be a pathway. 00:18:31.765 --> 00:18:35.670 Hey. Your kid is neurodiverse and your kid's autistic. You got a list of colleges 00:18:35.890 --> 00:18:39.889 in United States that your kid can go to. Why not why not 00:18:39.890 --> 00:18:43.729 put these programs in place? Why does we need someone 00:18:43.730 --> 00:18:47.414 like me who is passionate about what I'm talking about to 00:18:47.415 --> 00:18:51.254 get these things in place. Like for me, my 00:18:51.255 --> 00:18:55.174 son, I know when he get to high school, it'll mean him 00:18:55.175 --> 00:18:59.174 gonna go a different route. And I'm figuring that out, what we're gonna do. If 00:18:59.175 --> 00:19:03.020 he wanna go to college, I gotta set up his IEP a different way, 00:19:03.240 --> 00:19:06.918 and you transition him to something else. Because I when I say I'm thinking 00:19:06.919 --> 00:19:10.918 ahead, I'm thinking ahead. So it's not perfect today. And we we 00:19:10.919 --> 00:19:14.545 are 2025, and the world is 00:19:15.325 --> 00:19:17.964 moving on a lot. Yeah. We're doing a lot of thinking about a lot of 00:19:17.965 --> 00:19:21.964 stuff, and services are getting more and more experience. But if you wind the 00:19:21.965 --> 00:19:25.819 clock back, I don't know, 10, 20, 30 years, Zach's 00:19:25.820 --> 00:19:29.179 life would have been so much different. You you would not have had the support 00:19:29.180 --> 00:19:33.179 that you get now. Even though even though it's imperfect today, it's evolved 00:19:33.180 --> 00:19:36.619 quite a bit. So what are the key things that they are getting right? I 00:19:36.620 --> 00:19:40.245 would say the key thing that Oxy is getting right, people get it right 00:19:40.485 --> 00:19:44.404 I hear this a lot. It's a spike in autism. Right? I think and 00:19:44.405 --> 00:19:48.345 I and this is this is just my personal opinion, so do not let listeners, 00:19:48.405 --> 00:19:52.309 please don't get mad at me. I'm happy to see that 00:19:52.310 --> 00:19:56.170 parents are now aware and they're getting their kids tested. 00:19:56.550 --> 00:20:00.549 And I'm happy to see that as more kids like my son getting tested and 00:20:00.550 --> 00:20:04.149 again, their diagnosis and parents are doing what they need to do to make sure 00:20:04.150 --> 00:20:08.094 that they raise their child to be an awesome little human that they're going to 00:20:08.095 --> 00:20:11.614 be. So a lot of people, it's a myth. I mean, a lot of people 00:20:11.615 --> 00:20:14.595 are like, oh, they're going to outgrow it. You don't outgrow autism. 00:20:15.375 --> 00:20:19.214 Now, one thing I wish that the world got right, United States, 00:20:19.215 --> 00:20:21.774 UK, I wish we have more resources that was, 00:20:22.830 --> 00:20:26.829 quicker. Instead of waiting having wait list, I wish that it 00:20:26.830 --> 00:20:30.749 wasn't an age out period, that when our kids turn 18 00:20:30.750 --> 00:20:34.509 or 21, they're aged out of the program. I wish it was 00:20:34.510 --> 00:20:38.425 more programs and more nonprofits geared towards autistic 00:20:39.365 --> 00:20:43.044 adults or neurotypical adults because they need 00:20:43.045 --> 00:20:46.884 help. Because, unfortunately, the reality is their 00:20:46.885 --> 00:20:50.740 parents, me, I'm not gonna be here forever. So 00:20:50.960 --> 00:20:54.719 when I leave, what is gonna be here to to push him to be the 00:20:54.720 --> 00:20:58.100 best Zachariah or the best Mariah or the best 00:20:58.480 --> 00:21:02.319 Sarah or the best kid they could be? And those are 00:21:02.320 --> 00:21:06.104 just random names I'm saying. But besides that, those are random names, 00:21:06.105 --> 00:21:09.783 because these are conversations that we need to have at the government 00:21:09.784 --> 00:21:13.005 office. These are bills that we need to pass. 00:21:14.105 --> 00:21:17.884 There's so many things that we have to do as a society 00:21:18.380 --> 00:21:22.219 to make sure our, other adults are adults who 00:21:22.220 --> 00:21:26.139 have special needs or taken care of and not taken 00:21:26.140 --> 00:21:29.819 advantage of. There's not a drain on resources there, 00:21:29.820 --> 00:21:33.695 whether it's the legislature legislators, the, 00:21:34.095 --> 00:21:37.955 the healthcare professionals, society, whatever. You know, we've got obesity 00:21:38.095 --> 00:21:41.933 crisis. We've got we just come out of a pandemic, a global 00:21:41.934 --> 00:21:45.875 pandemic. As you as you mentioned, we're seeing a spike in autism and neurodiversity, 00:21:47.530 --> 00:21:51.049 diagnosis. It's a health care profession struggling to keep 00:21:51.050 --> 00:21:54.809 up. Are are we are we too demanding? I do think it's a 00:21:54.810 --> 00:21:58.089 struggle to keep up, but I I also think it's not really a spike. It's 00:21:58.090 --> 00:22:02.034 really so when you look at the data, years ago, it's 1 out of 00:22:02.035 --> 00:22:05.714 a 100 and 60 6 kids that were diagnosed with autism. When I wrote 00:22:05.715 --> 00:22:09.554 my book, just like you, it was 1 out of 54 00:22:09.555 --> 00:22:12.855 kids diagnosed with autism. As of 2024, 00:22:14.269 --> 00:22:17.949 according to the CDC, is 1 out of 36 kids diagnosed with 00:22:17.950 --> 00:22:21.869 autism. Right? I think now is more awareness, and 00:22:21.870 --> 00:22:25.869 my focus is acceptance and inclusion of that. But 00:22:25.870 --> 00:22:29.725 when it comes to the resources, the speech, o o t, 00:22:30.185 --> 00:22:33.944 it's too many diagnosis and not enough providers. Too 00:22:33.945 --> 00:22:37.864 many diagnosis, not enough services. My son has been on his 00:22:37.865 --> 00:22:41.864 wait list for speech for almost a year. Nope. It'd be yeah. It'd 00:22:41.865 --> 00:22:45.440 be almost a year, like 2 months. That is ridiculous. 00:22:46.220 --> 00:22:50.058 That is not acceptable. And that is 00:22:50.059 --> 00:22:54.058 crazy to see my son is waiting on a service that he needs 00:22:54.059 --> 00:22:57.974 and deserve, and I can't even get it from him because it's not 00:22:57.975 --> 00:23:01.675 enough providers in the field who are taking clients. 00:23:02.535 --> 00:23:06.235 And that's heartbreaking. So are you saying we the world needs more community 00:23:06.375 --> 00:23:09.995 advocates like yourself, independence, small charities, small 00:23:10.135 --> 00:23:13.980 advocacy groups? Maybe More resources. People within the autistic 00:23:14.040 --> 00:23:17.900 community come together and become an advocacy powerhouse 00:23:17.960 --> 00:23:21.260 between them. Is is that kind of the way things are gonna develop, you think? 00:23:22.200 --> 00:23:26.119 Still, as as as we get more parents like me to keep pushing 00:23:26.120 --> 00:23:29.975 this topic, we're going to grow as a community. Now 00:23:30.434 --> 00:23:33.234 it's certain things in the community. Some people in the community don't agree with like 00:23:33.235 --> 00:23:37.154 puzzle pieces. I'm talking about an autistic or a person with an 00:23:37.394 --> 00:23:41.168 or perfect person with autism. We have bigger things to talk 00:23:41.169 --> 00:23:45.009 about. We have bigger things to worry about, like, non 00:23:45.010 --> 00:23:48.689 security for for autistic individuals, funding for them to 00:23:48.690 --> 00:23:52.390 live independent. Like, I feel like sometime in a community, 00:23:52.774 --> 00:23:56.634 we focus on things that are so small that 00:23:56.934 --> 00:24:00.394 that is that is not as important as you having a job 00:24:01.414 --> 00:24:05.013 to pay your bills and not lose your home. I have a 00:24:05.014 --> 00:24:07.835 autistic friend, and 00:24:09.070 --> 00:24:12.909 she's in a process that was her law. She she's nonverbal, she's an 00:24:12.910 --> 00:24:16.690 adult and she cannot pay her bills. These are conversations 00:24:17.070 --> 00:24:20.909 that need to be at because she needs a job where she's 00:24:20.910 --> 00:24:24.794 able to work and not speak. Cause she cause she cause she's nonverbal. 00:24:25.815 --> 00:24:29.734 She's not speaking. If everyone be technical, she has an aid device and 00:24:29.735 --> 00:24:33.173 she needs a, and she has seizures. So she need a work from home job 00:24:33.174 --> 00:24:37.049 that can be able to pay her so she won't lose her home. These are 00:24:37.050 --> 00:24:40.510 conversations that need to be had versus puzzle pieces 00:24:40.890 --> 00:24:44.889 versus, oh, you used the wrong term or that's not 00:24:44.890 --> 00:24:48.844 important. What is important is inclusion, jobs, 00:24:48.845 --> 00:24:52.225 hiring autistic individuals, especially nonverbal 00:24:52.925 --> 00:24:56.444 autistic individuals, jobs, having training for 00:24:56.445 --> 00:25:00.284 autistic individuals. Those are the things that are super 00:25:00.285 --> 00:25:04.069 important that are overlooked and overshadowed because we're talking 00:25:04.070 --> 00:25:07.690 about puzzle pieces. So we're talking about, oh, you used the wrong term. 00:25:08.470 --> 00:25:12.389 You should say personal autism or autistic individual. Let's talk 00:25:12.390 --> 00:25:16.124 about something that is more important. My son is 00:25:16.125 --> 00:25:19.643 nonverbal. Would he be able to have a job? I mean, the reason why I'm 00:25:19.644 --> 00:25:22.144 passionate about that, I lost my voice 00:25:23.404 --> 00:25:27.324 last year, no 2023 and 00:25:27.325 --> 00:25:30.065 I didn't have a voice. I would never forget 00:25:31.260 --> 00:25:35.099 to not talk at work. So my manager at the time sent me 00:25:35.100 --> 00:25:38.720 home and he told me, and I quote, I will never forget this. 00:25:39.100 --> 00:25:42.960 He said, your voice is a part of your uniform. I cried. 00:25:43.260 --> 00:25:47.024 I was so mad because I 00:25:47.025 --> 00:25:49.765 know a little bit of ASL, a customized ASL. 00:25:50.945 --> 00:25:54.384 And I also wrote, how dare you? But I talked to my HRs over here 00:25:54.385 --> 00:25:58.245 that, that, that important, but he gave me a glimpse. 00:25:59.250 --> 00:26:03.169 I feel like God took my voice as a dope, but I can see how 00:26:03.170 --> 00:26:06.769 it would be for my son. And that was the most powerful thing. And it's 00:26:06.770 --> 00:26:09.729 so funny. I lost my voice at work a couple of days ago. I couldn't 00:26:09.730 --> 00:26:13.454