WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.240 --> 00:00:00.560 Foreign. 2 00:00:07.360 --> 00:00:11.320 Welcome to Inclusion Bites, your sanctuary 3 00:00:11.320 --> 00:00:15.200 for bold conversations that spark change. I'm Joanne Lockwood, 4 00:00:15.200 --> 00:00:18.720 your guide on this journey of exploration into the heart of 5 00:00:18.720 --> 00:00:22.640 inclusion, belonging and societal transformation. 6 00:00:23.120 --> 00:00:27.040 Ever wondered what it truly takes to create a world? Remember, everyone 7 00:00:27.040 --> 00:00:30.760 not only belongs, but thrives. You're not alone. 8 00:00:31.320 --> 00:00:35.200 Join me as we uncover the unseen, challenge 9 00:00:35.200 --> 00:00:38.760 the status quo and share stories that resonate 10 00:00:38.760 --> 00:00:42.480 deep within. Ready to dive in? Whether you're 11 00:00:42.480 --> 00:00:46.400 sipping your morning coffee or winding down after a long day, let's 12 00:00:46.400 --> 00:00:50.360 connect, reflect and inspire action together. 13 00:00:51.080 --> 00:00:54.870 Don't forget, you can be part of the conversation too. Reach out 14 00:00:54.870 --> 00:00:58.670 to jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk 15 00:00:59.070 --> 00:01:02.590 to share your insights or to join me on the show. 16 00:01:03.470 --> 00:01:07.230 So adjust your earbuds and settle in. It's time to 17 00:01:07.230 --> 00:01:10.830 ignite the spark of inclusion with Inclusion Bites. 18 00:01:14.590 --> 00:01:17.790 And today is episode 180 19 00:01:18.590 --> 00:01:22.430 with the title Healing Begins with Belonging. 20 00:01:22.750 --> 00:01:26.470 And I have the absolute honour and privilege to welcome Tenya 21 00:01:26.470 --> 00:01:29.910 Eichenberg. Tenya is a mind, body, energy 22 00:01:29.910 --> 00:01:33.790 facilitator who helps people clear, emotional and 23 00:01:33.790 --> 00:01:36.990 energetic blocks to heal, transform and thrive. 24 00:01:37.790 --> 00:01:41.750 And when I asked Tina to describe her superpower, she said that it is 25 00:01:41.750 --> 00:01:45.630 being able to empower others to release what no longer serves 26 00:01:46.350 --> 00:01:49.950 and step into their most authentic selves. Hello, Tenya, 27 00:01:49.950 --> 00:01:53.390 welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited. 28 00:01:54.270 --> 00:01:57.710 It's a pleasure. And I'm guessing from your accent, you're not in the uk? 29 00:01:58.030 --> 00:02:01.390 I'm not. I'm in the. In the States, on the other side of the pond. 30 00:02:01.950 --> 00:02:05.390 That side of the pond, yeah. Whereabouts? I'm in Maryland, 31 00:02:05.790 --> 00:02:09.760 just outside of Washington, dc. Yep. Been to 32 00:02:09.760 --> 00:02:13.640 New York? I've never made. I've never made Washington state or anywhere around there. So, 33 00:02:13.640 --> 00:02:16.360 yeah, one day. One day. Maybe in five years time. 34 00:02:18.360 --> 00:02:20.760 So it's coming up for Easter, you got anything planned? 35 00:02:22.760 --> 00:02:26.680 My son is moving. My son is moving out of 36 00:02:26.680 --> 00:02:30.560 our home. My husband and I are going to become empty nesters. Wow. 37 00:02:30.560 --> 00:02:34.360 Exciting. Yeah, so that's happening. We're actually going to start 38 00:02:34.360 --> 00:02:38.080 moving him and his girlfriend in today and then they'll 39 00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:41.960 officially move everything in on Friday. So we're going to be helping them 40 00:02:41.960 --> 00:02:45.840 set up Friday and then we're just going to kind of enjoy the weekend 41 00:02:46.800 --> 00:02:50.320 with some Easter plans with where we get to meet my. Meet his 42 00:02:50.320 --> 00:02:54.200 girlfriend's family. So that's exciting. Yeah. And then 43 00:02:54.200 --> 00:02:57.160 probably on Easter, we're probably just going to chill out. We're going to stay at 44 00:02:57.160 --> 00:03:00.720 a campground and just enjoy each other's company 45 00:03:01.040 --> 00:03:03.920 for a day. Reconnect to each other as, 46 00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:08.920 as life partners. Yeah, that was, that's one thing 47 00:03:08.920 --> 00:03:12.520 that we've always strived to make consistent 48 00:03:12.680 --> 00:03:16.280 throughout our marriage. We'll be married 29 years this year together for 30. 49 00:03:16.600 --> 00:03:20.200 We have a 28 year old daughter and then our twins are 25 50 00:03:21.240 --> 00:03:24.800 and we also have a granddaughter who's gonna be born within the next week or 51 00:03:24.800 --> 00:03:28.440 two. So lots of changes going on in this next week, 52 00:03:28.600 --> 00:03:32.440 next two weeks. But yeah, we always made it a point to, to put 53 00:03:32.520 --> 00:03:36.520 our relationship kind of the main focus of our 54 00:03:36.520 --> 00:03:39.720 foundation because we knew that one day our kids were going to move out 55 00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:44.680 and it was gonna be him and I that were gonna be left 56 00:03:45.240 --> 00:03:48.560 holding up the fort and we wanted to make sure that we had a good 57 00:03:48.560 --> 00:03:52.560 foundation for when we went into that, that space that we could 58 00:03:52.560 --> 00:03:55.880 support each other just as a couple. Hmm. 59 00:03:56.520 --> 00:04:00.310 I mean you're probably say seven or eight years behind us. 60 00:04:00.310 --> 00:04:03.270 Our son was the final one to move out. Yeah, about seven or eight years 61 00:04:03.270 --> 00:04:07.070 ago. But yeah, our daughter's in her 30s, married 62 00:04:07.070 --> 00:04:10.670 our son's, he's in his 30s as well now and 63 00:04:11.470 --> 00:04:14.510 got a lot a long term partner which he's living with. So yeah, it's 64 00:04:15.230 --> 00:04:19.230 important to reconnect, isn't it? Because if you sit on the sofa looking at 65 00:04:19.230 --> 00:04:21.310 each other going, what are we worried about? What are we going to do now? 66 00:04:21.550 --> 00:04:24.750 It's a real strange feeling to go back to that time before children 67 00:04:25.290 --> 00:04:29.290 BC right when you used to lay in on a Saturday 68 00:04:29.290 --> 00:04:32.850 morning and go, well it's nothing to do today. We're just laze around. We could 69 00:04:32.850 --> 00:04:36.810 do whatever we want. No one cares if we don't go out. Don't, don't, don't, 70 00:04:37.450 --> 00:04:41.130 don't put any clothes on today. No one's going to notice. Right? Right. 71 00:04:41.210 --> 00:04:44.890 Yeah. Well, we didn't really have, have that couple time before 72 00:04:45.130 --> 00:04:48.970 we started dating. And then three months later I became pregnant 73 00:04:49.130 --> 00:04:52.490 and then a year later we got married. So our oldest was six weeks old 74 00:04:52.490 --> 00:04:56.490 when we got married. Lovely. So we've always had children 75 00:04:57.050 --> 00:05:00.810 during our marriage and we really only we have 76 00:05:00.810 --> 00:05:04.770 never lived together alone because we lived 77 00:05:04.770 --> 00:05:08.690 with roommates before I got pregnant. Well actually no, we lived with roommates 78 00:05:08.690 --> 00:05:12.650 when I found out I was pregnant. So we've, you know, we've always had somebody 79 00:05:12.650 --> 00:05:16.090 else there during our relationship, whether it was in utero or, 80 00:05:16.730 --> 00:05:19.770 you know, as a big human. I mean we've gone on 81 00:05:20.310 --> 00:05:24.230 vacations just the two of us, but really never been longer than a week, maybe 82 00:05:24.230 --> 00:05:28.070 10 days at most. It's Quite exciting. Then it is really 83 00:05:28.070 --> 00:05:32.070 a new chapter in your life. Yeah. Yeah, it's very exciting, but we're definitely very 84 00:05:32.070 --> 00:05:35.990 excited for it. Yeah. My wife and I, we have. We love 85 00:05:35.990 --> 00:05:39.870 our time together. Yeah. And we love it when our children 86 00:05:39.870 --> 00:05:42.710 visit, and we love it when our parents come as well, because we're at that 87 00:05:42.710 --> 00:05:46.710 family generation. We've got responsibility for the elder generation as well as the. 88 00:05:47.530 --> 00:05:50.490 You can't get rid of responsibility no matter what age you are these days. 89 00:05:52.250 --> 00:05:55.930 So you talk about healing and helping others thrive. 90 00:05:56.090 --> 00:06:00.090 What got you into what you do and creating these sort of safe spaces for 91 00:06:00.250 --> 00:06:04.250 transformation within people. I was looking for a safe space. 92 00:06:04.330 --> 00:06:07.450 In 2018, we had the most 93 00:06:08.730 --> 00:06:12.610 amazing year for our family until this point, where we are 94 00:06:12.610 --> 00:06:16.090 now extending our family into grandchildren. In 95 00:06:16.090 --> 00:06:19.770 2018, both my husband and our oldest were graduating from 96 00:06:19.770 --> 00:06:23.530 college. Our twins were graduating from high school, and we were 97 00:06:23.530 --> 00:06:27.450 moving to our forever home right here, right off the Chesapeake Bay in 98 00:06:27.450 --> 00:06:31.290 Maryland. And we have been wanting to move back to this place. And 99 00:06:31.290 --> 00:06:35.250 so I had this vision of what it 100 00:06:35.250 --> 00:06:39.210 was going to be like because in this community I have, My best friend was 101 00:06:39.210 --> 00:06:42.960 living here. Her family was living here. And this is the place I 102 00:06:42.960 --> 00:06:46.640 lived when I was 15 years old, when my dad got stationed in 103 00:06:46.640 --> 00:06:49.720 Maryland in the Air Force. And so this is where I met my two best 104 00:06:49.720 --> 00:06:53.200 friends. And it was. It just had held a lot of 105 00:06:53.360 --> 00:06:57.000 memories and a lot of fun and a lot of love. And so I really 106 00:06:57.000 --> 00:07:00.720 wanted to move back here. And so we had the opportunity to do that when 107 00:07:00.720 --> 00:07:04.360 a friend told us that they were selling their house and would we like to 108 00:07:04.360 --> 00:07:08.080 buy it. And that was in. That was in, like, February 109 00:07:08.080 --> 00:07:11.960 or March of 2018. And we're like, well, 110 00:07:12.120 --> 00:07:15.880 you know, when you're ready, let us know. And. And 111 00:07:15.880 --> 00:07:19.720 we'll. We'll start the ball rolling. And like, June, they were like, okay, 112 00:07:19.720 --> 00:07:23.520 so we're ready to. To get the ball rolling. Is this still something you want 113 00:07:23.520 --> 00:07:27.400 to do? And we said yes. And so within six 114 00:07:27.400 --> 00:07:31.040 months of saying yes, we had re. Re redone our 115 00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:34.690 townhome. So put it on the market. We put it on the market in September, 116 00:07:34.690 --> 00:07:38.610 sold it in October, moved in in November. So incredibly quick. Which 117 00:07:38.690 --> 00:07:42.370 to me, knowing what I know now about the law of attraction and energy 118 00:07:42.450 --> 00:07:46.290 work, when you're in flow, things move quite quickly. And that 119 00:07:46.290 --> 00:07:49.650 moved quite quickly. Downside was we were moving to the beach in the winter, 120 00:07:50.770 --> 00:07:54.370 which totally sucks because you can't enjoy 121 00:07:54.530 --> 00:07:57.810 sitting on the beach and wading through the water. 122 00:07:58.450 --> 00:08:02.110 And mid November, it's. It's too cold and it's 123 00:08:02.110 --> 00:08:05.990 dreary and it's no fun. So we were kind 124 00:08:05.990 --> 00:08:09.710 of secluded from everybody for like the first 125 00:08:09.870 --> 00:08:13.390 six months. We'd go over to people's houses, but it just was not what I 126 00:08:13.390 --> 00:08:17.150 had envisioned. And then summer hit and we were 127 00:08:17.630 --> 00:08:21.390 able to start getting outside. But prior to that I'd 128 00:08:21.390 --> 00:08:23.950 had a bit of a falling out with my mom. 129 00:08:25.240 --> 00:08:29.080 And it caused a lot of stress emotionally for me. 130 00:08:29.800 --> 00:08:33.600 And I started to self medicate. I started to drink and smoke. 131 00:08:33.600 --> 00:08:37.360 I hadn't smoked for like eight years. And I started 132 00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:41.240 smoking again partially because I was around people who were smoking. It was 133 00:08:41.240 --> 00:08:45.000 easy access to this old 134 00:08:45.080 --> 00:08:48.600 drug that I used to use to hide 135 00:08:49.160 --> 00:08:52.410 my emotions to relax through 136 00:08:53.290 --> 00:08:57.290 traumatic events. I started smoking when I was 13, so it wasn't hard to 137 00:08:57.290 --> 00:09:01.290 pick back up and remember how good it made me 138 00:09:01.290 --> 00:09:04.810 feel when I was feeling extremely stressed and 139 00:09:04.890 --> 00:09:08.850 emotional. And then of course I added in the alcohol because we're sitting on the 140 00:09:08.850 --> 00:09:12.410 beach so you want to have your margaritas and, and all that stuff. 141 00:09:12.490 --> 00:09:16.010 And so I really suppressed 142 00:09:16.820 --> 00:09:20.740 a lot of things for about a year. And I knew that 143 00:09:20.740 --> 00:09:24.500 things were getting bad when I would start driving home 144 00:09:24.500 --> 00:09:28.340 from work and I would imagine what would happen 145 00:09:28.420 --> 00:09:32.260 if I just let my van run into 146 00:09:32.260 --> 00:09:34.660 a telephone pole. How would that make me feel? 147 00:09:36.100 --> 00:09:40.060 Could I get a few days off? Because I was under the 148 00:09:40.060 --> 00:09:43.860 mindset that I can't, I can't take vacation days because what if I get 149 00:09:43.860 --> 00:09:47.750 sick and I really need em, or actually on 150 00:09:47.750 --> 00:09:51.710 the flip side, I wanted to use them for vacations so then I 151 00:09:51.710 --> 00:09:55.550 couldn't use em for sick. That was probably more true than, than 152 00:09:55.550 --> 00:09:58.750 the other way. Like I wanted to be able to take an entire week off 153 00:09:59.550 --> 00:10:03.510 and go someplace and relax with my husband. And 154 00:10:03.510 --> 00:10:07.350 I couldn't do that if I took mental health days. Cause I 155 00:10:07.350 --> 00:10:11.050 only had, at that time, I think I only had two weeks a year to 156 00:10:11.050 --> 00:10:14.930 take off, you know, and then your weekends are filled with, with stuff you 157 00:10:14.930 --> 00:10:18.690 can't get done during the week when you're working 40 hours a week. And I 158 00:10:18.690 --> 00:10:22.530 was working an hour from home. So I 159 00:10:22.530 --> 00:10:26.409 was out of the house for 10 hours a 160 00:10:26.409 --> 00:10:30.250 day, 11 hours a day, depending on what was going on that day. 161 00:10:30.330 --> 00:10:33.610 And so I got to the point where I was like, I, I'm thinking about 162 00:10:33.610 --> 00:10:37.580 hurting myself. I need, I need help. And at the time I only knew 163 00:10:37.580 --> 00:10:40.060 the traditional roots talk therapy and medication 164 00:10:41.500 --> 00:10:44.980 because I grew up with a mother who was diagnosed bipolar when I was 7 165 00:10:44.980 --> 00:10:48.900 or 8 years old. And that was the first time meditation was brought into my 166 00:10:48.900 --> 00:10:52.780 life, but it was never anything 167 00:10:52.780 --> 00:10:56.780 that was taught to me. It wasn't anything that was for an eight 168 00:10:56.780 --> 00:11:00.700 or nine year old to do so. And then after we, 169 00:11:00.700 --> 00:11:04.420 we actually, we were living in England at the time when my mom was 170 00:11:04.420 --> 00:11:08.410 diagnosed and she had to deal with her own mental illness and 171 00:11:08.410 --> 00:11:12.090 so she didn't have the capacity to, to teach us kids how to handle our 172 00:11:12.090 --> 00:11:15.970 own emotions, our own mental health. But I had seen her go to therapy 173 00:11:16.530 --> 00:11:20.490 and she had been on medication for as long as I can 174 00:11:20.490 --> 00:11:24.450 remember. So I went that route 175 00:11:25.570 --> 00:11:29.090 and was on it for about six to eight weeks. And both the 176 00:11:29.170 --> 00:11:33.090 doctor and the therapist, the doctor wanted to up my medication. When I said it 177 00:11:33.090 --> 00:11:36.790 wasn't working so well. And talk therapy, it just felt like I was talking about 178 00:11:36.790 --> 00:11:40.670 the same things I had talked about for years with other therapists. Not saying 179 00:11:40.670 --> 00:11:44.510 that anything that they were doing was wrong. It just wasn't right for 180 00:11:44.510 --> 00:11:48.510 me. And I didn't feel like you asked about that 181 00:11:48.510 --> 00:11:52.430 safe space. I didn't feel safe enough with either of them to tell them that 182 00:11:52.430 --> 00:11:55.830 I had thought about hurting myself because I didn't know them. You know, sharing 183 00:11:56.070 --> 00:11:59.990 that you are thinking of hurting yourself or taking your own life 184 00:12:00.710 --> 00:12:04.610 with somebody you don't know if is hard. Sharing it 185 00:12:04.610 --> 00:12:06.570 with somebody you do know is even harder. 186 00:12:08.330 --> 00:12:12.210 So, so, you know, think about what 187 00:12:12.210 --> 00:12:15.930 it takes for somebody to take their own life. They think 188 00:12:15.930 --> 00:12:19.490 that, that, that is the easiest option to 189 00:12:19.490 --> 00:12:22.730 telling somebody that they're thinking about hurting themselves. 190 00:12:24.170 --> 00:12:27.810 Because we have seen nothing. But in the 191 00:12:27.810 --> 00:12:31.690 movies, TV shows, whenever somebody has said that they, they 192 00:12:31.690 --> 00:12:35.670 feel crazy or they feel insane or they're feeling certain ways, 193 00:12:36.150 --> 00:12:40.070 certain feelings. Even if, if they're saying like I, I feel 194 00:12:40.070 --> 00:12:43.790 like I'm gonna hurt myself, the next scene is always them being in 195 00:12:43.790 --> 00:12:47.710 either a padded room or some, a room by themselves, sitting 196 00:12:47.710 --> 00:12:51.030 on a bed. There's there, there doesn't seem to be, at least 197 00:12:51.510 --> 00:12:54.150 in the past, that I have seen a good 198 00:12:55.350 --> 00:12:59.310 representation of what happens if you tell somebody I 199 00:12:59.310 --> 00:13:03.100 feel like I'm going to hurt myself. Have you seen anything, anything that would 200 00:13:03.500 --> 00:13:06.380 encourage people to be okay with saying 201 00:13:07.340 --> 00:13:10.300 I'm hurting and I feel like I don't want to be here anymore. 202 00:13:11.580 --> 00:13:15.260 It's all caught up in stigma and shame, guilt, 203 00:13:15.500 --> 00:13:18.780 not being strong enough, not being capable enough. You know, 204 00:13:19.340 --> 00:13:23.100 I'm a strong woman. How can I be like this? 205 00:13:24.060 --> 00:13:27.660 I associate this, that feeling with other people, 206 00:13:28.160 --> 00:13:32.040 not with me. I don't want to be a failure. I don't want to admit 207 00:13:32.040 --> 00:13:34.880 I'm broken. That's Part of my. I think this is what you're saying to yourself, 208 00:13:34.880 --> 00:13:38.640 isn't it? Part of the problem here is that I'm 209 00:13:38.640 --> 00:13:42.480 failing. And that. And to face up to it makes me feel more of a 210 00:13:42.480 --> 00:13:46.480 failure. Having to admit it, having. Having emotions 211 00:13:47.280 --> 00:13:51.200 makes us feel broken. And I'll be the first 212 00:13:51.200 --> 00:13:55.130 to admit, because I'm still human, that there are times when 213 00:13:55.210 --> 00:13:58.930 I try to still hide me getting 214 00:13:58.930 --> 00:14:02.770 upset. Now my kids know that I'm a very easy 215 00:14:02.770 --> 00:14:06.330 crier. And when I'm watching movies that are very 216 00:14:06.330 --> 00:14:10.250 compassionate and heartfelt, they will be the first ones to look at 217 00:14:10.250 --> 00:14:13.610 me to see if I'm okay. And I'm always crying 218 00:14:14.010 --> 00:14:17.610 because it's just how I feel emotions. But 219 00:14:17.850 --> 00:14:21.740 when I'm out in public, I will 220 00:14:21.740 --> 00:14:25.700 still find myself trying to push those down because I don't 221 00:14:25.700 --> 00:14:29.700 want the attention of feeling my emotions. But we need 222 00:14:29.700 --> 00:14:33.340 to feel our emotions. So It's a catch 22. It's like, how do you get 223 00:14:33.340 --> 00:14:37.300 comfortable with feeling your emotions when 224 00:14:37.300 --> 00:14:41.020 you're having them? It's really hard to do because you 225 00:14:41.020 --> 00:14:44.700 really do have to navigate 226 00:14:45.950 --> 00:14:49.790 how other people might react to you because they don't know 227 00:14:49.790 --> 00:14:53.790 how to deal with your emotions because they don't 228 00:14:53.790 --> 00:14:55.230 know how to deal with their own emotions. 229 00:14:57.630 --> 00:15:01.550 When you are. When you were going down this. I 230 00:15:01.550 --> 00:15:04.350 don't know if this is a good metaphor or not going down this slope 231 00:15:04.990 --> 00:15:08.790 towards this, I suppose this mental anxiety you were facing 232 00:15:08.790 --> 00:15:12.600 or whatever, however you describe it, looking back on that 233 00:15:12.600 --> 00:15:16.560 time, can you see the triggers and 234 00:15:16.560 --> 00:15:20.200 the steps that were sucking you into that further and further? 235 00:15:20.680 --> 00:15:23.240 At the time you were looking for 236 00:15:24.040 --> 00:15:27.400 alcohol, nicotine, as ways of 237 00:15:27.480 --> 00:15:31.360 avoiding you dealing with the real problem? These were sort of. These 238 00:15:31.360 --> 00:15:35.000 were boosting brain chemicals that made you feel better about yourself or less worse. 239 00:15:35.640 --> 00:15:39.500 Yes. Looking back, I can absolutely see 240 00:15:39.500 --> 00:15:43.380 how I was reaching for a cigarette 241 00:15:43.380 --> 00:15:47.220 first thing in the morning to help suppress 242 00:15:48.420 --> 00:15:51.740 what I knew would come up later in the day. I would, you know, I 243 00:15:51.740 --> 00:15:55.660 would sit out on our deck smoking 244 00:15:55.660 --> 00:15:59.180 a cigarette, scrolling through what, you know, 245 00:15:59.180 --> 00:16:03.060 TikTok and just mind numb. I couldn't. 246 00:16:03.140 --> 00:16:07.060 Every time my phone would ring and my mom would pop up on the screen, 247 00:16:07.460 --> 00:16:11.260 I could feel my body tense up. Anytime my 248 00:16:11.260 --> 00:16:14.420 dad would call, I would tense up because I'm sure it had something to do 249 00:16:14.420 --> 00:16:18.220 with my mom because my dad never calls. So it was, you know, 250 00:16:18.220 --> 00:16:22.180 it was always. And I would always wait for. If it had been a 251 00:16:22.180 --> 00:16:25.980 couple of months since there had been eggs breaking, I would 252 00:16:25.980 --> 00:16:29.620 wait for. Wait for the. The call that would cause 253 00:16:29.860 --> 00:16:33.660 me to have to walk on eggshells. Do you think some of this links 254 00:16:33.660 --> 00:16:37.410 back to your family 255 00:16:37.410 --> 00:16:41.050 history of bipolar? Absolutely. These are manic 256 00:16:41.050 --> 00:16:44.890 episodes. So people around you would have realised that 257 00:16:45.690 --> 00:16:49.610 Tina's having a manic episode here, not knowing what to do 258 00:16:49.610 --> 00:16:52.570 with it. I think I was definitely afraid of that. 259 00:16:53.370 --> 00:16:56.970 Right. Because for as long as I could remember, my mom would always tell me 260 00:16:56.970 --> 00:17:00.930 that bipolar disorder runs in our family. You have 261 00:17:00.930 --> 00:17:04.770 a 50, 50 chance of getting it. But I always said, oh, no, 262 00:17:05.890 --> 00:17:09.890 whatever my mom gets starts with her and ends with her. And I think 263 00:17:09.890 --> 00:17:13.690 that is. And this is where, again, our belief systems come 264 00:17:13.690 --> 00:17:17.490 into play and intentions come into play because we 265 00:17:17.490 --> 00:17:21.490 don't have to inherit what our parent, 266 00:17:21.490 --> 00:17:25.250 who our parents are. My mom also has several illnesses that 267 00:17:25.250 --> 00:17:29.240 are hereditary, but nobody before her has 268 00:17:29.240 --> 00:17:32.680 them and nobody in my family is going to have it. 269 00:17:33.320 --> 00:17:37.320 It's not being passed down through me. And I think that has really helped me 270 00:17:37.320 --> 00:17:41.320 in moving towards the energy healing aspect of it. 271 00:17:42.200 --> 00:17:45.480 Because through energy healing you can clear out those 272 00:17:45.560 --> 00:17:49.520 inherited energies, those, those things that 273 00:17:49.520 --> 00:17:52.280 are passed down from generation to generation to generation. 274 00:17:53.950 --> 00:17:57.870 And when I, when I, when I told myself I'm, I'm not gonna, I don't 275 00:17:57.870 --> 00:18:01.070 wanna be on medication. I think medication is great 276 00:18:02.430 --> 00:18:06.430 for short term and I know a lot of people are not 277 00:18:06.430 --> 00:18:09.950 going to agree with that because a lot of people have had much success being 278 00:18:09.950 --> 00:18:13.790 on medications for their anxiety and depression for, for 279 00:18:13.790 --> 00:18:17.590 decades. And congratulations. I am 280 00:18:17.590 --> 00:18:21.550 so glad that you found something that worked for you, but it 281 00:18:21.550 --> 00:18:25.310 doesn't work for everybody and it wasn't working for 282 00:18:25.310 --> 00:18:29.030 me. And so that's when I, I asked the 283 00:18:29.030 --> 00:18:32.950 universe, I asked God, whoever was listening, give me something 284 00:18:33.350 --> 00:18:37.110 that is going to get rid of this anxiety and depression, 285 00:18:37.910 --> 00:18:41.430 get me something that is going to cure it. I was looking for a cure. 286 00:18:41.590 --> 00:18:45.510 I was not looking to manage my mental illnesses. I 287 00:18:45.510 --> 00:18:49.250 was not looking to survive through my mental illnesses. 288 00:18:49.250 --> 00:18:52.890 I wanted them gone. And that's when energy healing came into 289 00:18:53.050 --> 00:18:56.730 my awareness. And to be honest, I was 290 00:18:56.730 --> 00:19:00.650 sceptical at first because it was the emotion code that came into 291 00:19:00.650 --> 00:19:04.570 my awareness. And if you haven't heard of the emotion code, it's 292 00:19:04.570 --> 00:19:08.490 using muscle testing or kinesiology to 293 00:19:08.490 --> 00:19:12.170 test your body's muscular system for yes and no 294 00:19:12.170 --> 00:19:15.580 answers, for truth and false answers, for your 295 00:19:15.580 --> 00:19:19.460 subconscious, for your body, for you alone, not anybody 296 00:19:19.460 --> 00:19:23.420 else. And so I was like, do I drink 297 00:19:23.420 --> 00:19:27.420 this purple Kool Aid? Because I wasn't gonna be taking, I 298 00:19:27.420 --> 00:19:31.380 wasn't going to ingest anything because that was, 299 00:19:31.620 --> 00:19:35.620 that was the belief that I had had for so Long 300 00:19:35.940 --> 00:19:39.780 that I had to one, give my power away to somebody 301 00:19:39.780 --> 00:19:43.140 else to heal me. And two, 302 00:19:43.540 --> 00:19:47.420 because my anxiety and depression have always, I've always been told 303 00:19:47.420 --> 00:19:51.340 it's a chemical imbalance. And so if it's a chemical imbalance, then 304 00:19:51.340 --> 00:19:54.820 you have to treat it with chemical to rebalance it. But 305 00:19:55.140 --> 00:19:58.900 the emotion code required no 306 00:19:58.980 --> 00:20:02.900 medications, it required not ingesting any 307 00:20:02.900 --> 00:20:06.100 chemicals, which was exactly what I was looking for. So is, 308 00:20:08.020 --> 00:20:11.860 is it your belief or your theory that a lot of 309 00:20:12.500 --> 00:20:16.100 how the body reacts is fed from signals from the brain? 310 00:20:16.420 --> 00:20:20.300 So if you reprogram your brain in a more positive 311 00:20:20.300 --> 00:20:24.260 way, I'm not saying it will cure everything, but it 312 00:20:24.260 --> 00:20:28.220 will certainly influence how the body responds. Is 313 00:20:28.220 --> 00:20:32.180 that the basic theory? Yeah. Although I don't think it's. I don't think it, 314 00:20:32.180 --> 00:20:36.160 I don't think that it is just about the brain. It is about every single 315 00:20:36.160 --> 00:20:40.000 organ in our body. When 316 00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:43.720 we don't feel emotions and we're. I'm going to use 317 00:20:43.720 --> 00:20:47.560 just this lifetime because I'm a believer that we don't 318 00:20:47.560 --> 00:20:51.280 only have one lifetime. I believe that we have, we live as a soul 319 00:20:51.760 --> 00:20:55.520 that has lived on different timelines, different lifetimes. And 320 00:20:55.760 --> 00:20:59.680 our soul brings that experience into wherever 321 00:20:59.680 --> 00:21:03.660 we are today. With that, we bring whatever that 322 00:21:03.660 --> 00:21:07.500 soul is holding onto. So even though our soul is, 323 00:21:07.500 --> 00:21:10.900 is coming here to have a human experience, it's had many human 324 00:21:10.900 --> 00:21:14.700 experiences and it brings all of that knowledge. But with that 325 00:21:14.700 --> 00:21:18.540 knowledge comes any trauma that they 326 00:21:18.540 --> 00:21:22.540 may have attached themselves to in those other lifetimes or 327 00:21:22.540 --> 00:21:26.540 in those other timelines. Right. So, so it's very woo woo. You know, a 328 00:21:26.540 --> 00:21:30.390 lot of people are not on that same wavelength. They think that we, you know, 329 00:21:30.390 --> 00:21:34.230 our brains are what's controlling everything and once our bodies are 330 00:21:34.230 --> 00:21:38.110 dead, that's it, we're gone. But that's not my belief. So I think that 331 00:21:38.270 --> 00:21:42.190 our bodies hold onto so much and from this lifetime 332 00:21:42.590 --> 00:21:46.390 we can have trapped emotions stuck in our shoulder, we can have them stuck in 333 00:21:46.390 --> 00:21:50.190 our hips, we can have it stuck in our bladder. So it's not just about 334 00:21:50.190 --> 00:21:54.050 the mind. And even though our mind has, 335 00:21:54.200 --> 00:21:58.200 has been tested to be controlling a lot 336 00:21:58.200 --> 00:22:01.880 of what we do as humans, I don't think science 337 00:22:02.200 --> 00:22:05.920 is gotten everything right, hasn't gotten 338 00:22:05.920 --> 00:22:09.800 everything to show us the big picture. Yeah, I 339 00:22:09.800 --> 00:22:12.840 can relate to the concept that we don't know everything 340 00:22:13.800 --> 00:22:17.800 and what we do know is based on, largely on observation 341 00:22:18.440 --> 00:22:21.650 and there are things we can't observe that just happen and anything. I want to 342 00:22:21.650 --> 00:22:25.570 call that spirituality, want to call that bigger being, whatever. I don't 343 00:22:25.570 --> 00:22:29.490 have any proof either way? Not a, an overly, I'm not, I'm not a religious 344 00:22:29.490 --> 00:22:32.730 person at all. But I, I, I do have a, what I would call a 345 00:22:32.730 --> 00:22:36.650 spirituality, a Buddhism without the religion sort of thing. It's, it's 346 00:22:36.650 --> 00:22:40.650 about interconnection with the world and people and 347 00:22:40.650 --> 00:22:44.570 self, I guess, without any, any, without any definition of what 348 00:22:44.570 --> 00:22:48.330 that means. My life is better when I'm connected with myself and my 349 00:22:48.330 --> 00:22:52.300 environment. Right? Right. And it's not just connecting with your, with your mind, it's 350 00:22:52.300 --> 00:22:55.980 connecting with your heart, it's connecting with your entire 351 00:22:55.980 --> 00:22:59.780 being. And with that being said, when we do the conscious 352 00:22:59.780 --> 00:23:02.900 work, when we do do mindset work, 353 00:23:03.780 --> 00:23:07.700 it does work. It does take quite a 354 00:23:07.700 --> 00:23:11.540 while though. I mean you, when you are retraining 355 00:23:11.540 --> 00:23:15.540 your brain, retraining, really looking at your belief systems 356 00:23:15.710 --> 00:23:19.590 and, and asking yourself, do I still want to believe this? Do I still want, 357 00:23:19.590 --> 00:23:23.590 you know, do I still want to believe that the sky is blue? Right? 358 00:23:23.590 --> 00:23:27.270 It then you have to say, okay, so if I don't want to believe that 359 00:23:27.270 --> 00:23:30.630 the sky is blue anymore, what colour do I want it to believe that it 360 00:23:30.630 --> 00:23:33.990 is? And how do I change my mindset around? Well, you've got all of these 361 00:23:33.990 --> 00:23:37.710 other people over here that are saying, oh no, but the sky is blue. 362 00:23:38.830 --> 00:23:42.820 And you've got yourself over here going, yeah, but, but is it really? Because some 363 00:23:42.820 --> 00:23:46.540 of it looks white, some of it looks purple. It all depends on when you're 364 00:23:46.540 --> 00:23:49.660 seeing it, what time of day are you seeing it? So it can take a 365 00:23:49.660 --> 00:23:53.380 long time to shift your mindset into 366 00:23:54.020 --> 00:23:56.820 whatever it is that your, your, your goal is, 367 00:23:57.940 --> 00:24:01.940 when will you bring energy healing into it to help to clear 368 00:24:01.940 --> 00:24:05.860 away those emotions or those stuck trauma energies. Just these balls 369 00:24:05.860 --> 00:24:09.170 of energy, you know, those little prickly things you get on your socks when you 370 00:24:09.170 --> 00:24:13.130 walk through a field. So that's how I see energ 371 00:24:13.130 --> 00:24:16.810 the, these trauma energies, these, these stuck emotions, these 372 00:24:16.810 --> 00:24:20.650 negative energies that are impacting our physical 373 00:24:20.650 --> 00:24:24.650 body as well as our spirit and our souls. When we find those, 374 00:24:24.730 --> 00:24:28.610 we can pluck them out. Problem is sometimes they're so 375 00:24:28.610 --> 00:24:31.770 hidden, like they're so stuck down in your socks. You can feel it, 376 00:24:32.730 --> 00:24:36.560 but you can't find it. Right? So in a sense, 377 00:24:36.560 --> 00:24:39.080 you want to take your entire, you want to take your sock off and you 378 00:24:39.080 --> 00:24:42.280 want to start picking them out because they're hurting you. But you can't do that 379 00:24:42.280 --> 00:24:46.240 with your body. You can't just take your meat suit off and pick 380 00:24:46.240 --> 00:24:50.080 out all the trauma energies with muscle testing 381 00:24:50.320 --> 00:24:54.280 and charts. Right? Just, just there's an emotion code 382 00:24:54.280 --> 00:24:57.960 chart that has like 60 different emotions. You can muscle test your 383 00:24:57.960 --> 00:25:01.840 body to find do you have a trapped emotion of 384 00:25:01.840 --> 00:25:05.660 anxiety? And if you get a yes, okay, 385 00:25:05.660 --> 00:25:09.540 you ask, can, can I release it? And you might get 386 00:25:09.540 --> 00:25:12.340 a no, because you might need to know more about it. You might need to 387 00:25:12.340 --> 00:25:16.220 know how old you were when you got the emotion. You might need to know 388 00:25:16.220 --> 00:25:20.020 if the emotion is inherited or did you absorb it from somebody else that you 389 00:25:20.020 --> 00:25:23.380 were standing next to. And if you need to know those kinds of things, your 390 00:25:23.380 --> 00:25:27.380 body will tell you. You find out what you need to 391 00:25:27.380 --> 00:25:31.270 know and, and then you ask, can I release it? And then you 392 00:25:31.270 --> 00:25:35.270 release it. With the emotion code, you swipe your governing meridian 393 00:25:35.510 --> 00:25:39.030 and this is where. This is where. Again, I was 394 00:25:39.030 --> 00:25:42.550 sceptical about using this energy work. 395 00:25:43.270 --> 00:25:46.710 It had nothing to do with, is it the devil? 396 00:25:47.030 --> 00:25:51.030 Is it, is it entities, is it anything like that? Had nothing to do with 397 00:25:51.030 --> 00:25:55.030 that. It was just the, the newness of what this 398 00:25:55.030 --> 00:25:58.980 modality was and how easy, really, how 399 00:25:58.980 --> 00:26:02.780 easy it was to feel better and that I didn't have to wait 400 00:26:02.860 --> 00:26:06.820 six to eight weeks to see if I was feeling better. So, yeah, 401 00:26:06.820 --> 00:26:10.660