WEBVTT 1 00:00:07.360 --> 00:00:11.236 Welcome to Inclusion Bites, your sanctuary for bold 2 00:00:11.236 --> 00:00:14.583 conversations that spark change. I'm Joanne 3 00:00:14.583 --> 00:00:18.458 Lockwood, your guide on this journey of exploration 4 00:00:18.458 --> 00:00:22.333 into the heart of inclusion, belonging and societal 5 00:00:22.333 --> 00:00:26.295 transformation. Ever wondered what it truly takes to 6 00:00:26.295 --> 00:00:30.083 create a world without Remember, everyone not only 7 00:00:30.083 --> 00:00:33.959 belongs, but thrives. You're not alone. Join me as we 8 00:00:33.959 --> 00:00:37.571 uncover the unseen, challenge the status quo and 9 00:00:37.571 --> 00:00:41.270 share stories that resonate deep within. Ready to 10 00:00:41.270 --> 00:00:45.235 dive in Whether you're sipping your morning coffee or 11 00:00:45.235 --> 00:00:49.198 winding down after a long day, let's connect, reflect 12 00:00:49.198 --> 00:00:53.162 and inspire action together. Don't forget, you can be 13 00:00:53.162 --> 00:00:56.243 part of the conversation too. Reach out to 14 00:00:56.243 --> 00:01:00.118 jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk to share your 15 00:01:00.118 --> 00:01:04.070 insights or to join me on the show. So adjust 16 00:01:04.070 --> 00:01:07.950 your earbuds and settle in. It's time to ignite the 17 00:01:07.950 --> 00:01:10.830 spark of inclusion with Inclusion Bites. 18 00:01:15.310 --> 00:01:18.990 And today is episode 203 with the title 19 00:01:19.750 --> 00:01:23.630 Belonging Beyond Borders. And I have the absolute honour and 20 00:01:23.630 --> 00:01:27.510 privilege to welcome Solveiga Jaskunas, Solveiga 21 00:01:27.510 --> 00:01:31.510 is an international keynote speaker and HR consultant who helps 22 00:01:31.510 --> 00:01:35.309 immigrants and expats thrive at work by turning lived 23 00:01:35.309 --> 00:01:38.950 experience into practical human centred inclusion. 24 00:01:39.910 --> 00:01:43.910 When I asked Salviga to describe her superpower, she said that it is leading with 25 00:01:43.910 --> 00:01:47.680 hope, compassion and vulnerability. Hello 26 00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:51.440 Solveiga, welcome to the show. Hello Jo. 27 00:01:52.000 --> 00:01:55.920 It's incredible to be here with you. Like, we had several 28 00:01:56.080 --> 00:01:59.880 communications over LinkedIn and now it's nice to meet you in 29 00:01:59.880 --> 00:02:03.760 person finally. We did and I think it was almost a year 30 00:02:03.760 --> 00:02:06.880 coming from a year since you originally applied to be on the show and it's 31 00:02:06.880 --> 00:02:10.880 taken us, well, 11 months to finally connect and be here today. 32 00:02:10.880 --> 00:02:14.380 So this is fascinating. Yeah, it is. And you have 33 00:02:14.380 --> 00:02:17.860 incredible conversations. I totally love them. 34 00:02:19.300 --> 00:02:23.100 I'm guessing from your accent that you are not born and bred in the 35 00:02:23.100 --> 00:02:27.060 USA because you're currently living in Washington D.C. you've started 36 00:02:27.060 --> 00:02:30.740 off your life in a different part of the world. Yeah, so I am originally 37 00:02:30.740 --> 00:02:34.580 from Lithuania, Eastern Europe and then, yeah, I 38 00:02:34.580 --> 00:02:37.860 lived in the States for more than 20 years already. 39 00:02:39.030 --> 00:02:42.790 So for some time, Lithuania, it's part of the Baltics. It's the 40 00:02:43.270 --> 00:02:46.990 southernmost, western, southwestern most Baltic, isn't it? So you've got 41 00:02:46.990 --> 00:02:50.558 Tallinn. Tallinn, yeah. If it's the capital of 42 00:02:50.558 --> 00:02:54.377 Estonia and Vilnius. Yes. You got. You've got Vilnius and 43 00:02:54.377 --> 00:02:58.276 capital of Lithuania and you've got the Estonia and you've 44 00:02:58.276 --> 00:03:01.857 also got the Latvia. What's the other Baltic? Latvia. 45 00:03:01.857 --> 00:03:05.755 That's it, Riga, in fact. Latvia. Yeah. Sorry, my mind went 46 00:03:05.755 --> 00:03:09.670 blank. It's a beautiful part of the world. I've spent time in 47 00:03:09.670 --> 00:03:13.630 all three of the Baltics and the architecture, the 48 00:03:13.630 --> 00:03:17.390 people, the culture is a fascinating place to be, isn't it? Yeah, 49 00:03:17.390 --> 00:03:21.190 yeah. It's quiet, you know, it's different than the 50 00:03:21.190 --> 00:03:25.150 state. It's more peaceful, quiet. There's a lot of 51 00:03:25.150 --> 00:03:28.990 like beautiful nature. I like it. And yes, Vilnius, it's a very beautiful 52 00:03:28.990 --> 00:03:32.870 city. I studied via. It's an intense like 53 00:03:32.870 --> 00:03:36.870 cultural life, but it's also small and it is easy to get around. 54 00:03:38.340 --> 00:03:41.940 So you moved to the US twenty 55 00:03:42.020 --> 00:03:45.420 something years ago as you said. How did you find that initially? Because you said 56 00:03:45.420 --> 00:03:48.500 you came from a very small, insular country. 57 00:03:49.220 --> 00:03:52.900 Everyone knows each other. Literally they almost do know each other 58 00:03:53.060 --> 00:03:56.700 to a big place like Washington D.C. where you're kind of lost in the 59 00:03:56.700 --> 00:04:00.700 hustle and bustle of the year. Yeah, I think, you know, it's 60 00:04:00.700 --> 00:04:03.700 not about the size of the city, 61 00:04:04.740 --> 00:04:08.660 but it's more like was hard because you 62 00:04:08.660 --> 00:04:11.540 live here, as you mentioned, everything you're familiar, you love. 63 00:04:12.340 --> 00:04:16.140 And then you come to the place where you suddenly 64 00:04:16.140 --> 00:04:19.620 you don't have friends. You don't know 65 00:04:20.500 --> 00:04:24.500 how long it will take you to find friends. Initially, when he had 66 00:04:24.500 --> 00:04:28.180 a degree in industrial psychology, I was not getting a single phone call. 67 00:04:28.340 --> 00:04:31.860 And when I started getting phone calls or interviews 68 00:04:32.830 --> 00:04:36.750 after I started getting my second master degree, my interview experience 69 00:04:37.390 --> 00:04:40.510 was really sometimes was worse than not getting a job 70 00:04:41.390 --> 00:04:45.310 because when your interview ends after first question or like 71 00:04:45.470 --> 00:04:49.310 your voicemails doesn't get written, you, you don't at that point, 72 00:04:49.310 --> 00:04:53.110 like I didn't know even how to compete. Even like such like when 73 00:04:53.110 --> 00:04:56.910 I travelled in Europe, I, I thought my English is quite 74 00:04:56.910 --> 00:05:00.870 okay. Like even I was in Britain and people in Britain 75 00:05:00.870 --> 00:05:04.590 are very used to people from other countries and they will say oh, like 76 00:05:04.590 --> 00:05:08.270 please repeat if you don't understand. Or they say, oh, your English is so good, 77 00:05:08.270 --> 00:05:12.270 you know. Please continue speaking. And then when I came to 78 00:05:12.270 --> 00:05:16.270 the States, this is where my confidence I think 79 00:05:16.270 --> 00:05:20.150 got crushed because some people will walk away and they say 80 00:05:21.030 --> 00:05:24.840 like I, I didn't understand a single thing you said. And I said at that 81 00:05:24.840 --> 00:05:28.480 point you think you didn't, you know, like I knew that I have an accent 82 00:05:28.480 --> 00:05:32.400 but. Or like they will say I don't know how you got hired. You know, 83 00:05:32.400 --> 00:05:36.360 your English just, I cannot understand, bring somebody else. So things 84 00:05:36.360 --> 00:05:40.320 like that makes you like, yeah, like you, you, you suddenly 85 00:05:40.800 --> 00:05:44.720 start questioning and of course it's very hard to change your 86 00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:48.480 accent, it's very hard to change how you speak. And even you 87 00:05:48.480 --> 00:05:52.320 work, the progress doesn't happen right away. So. 88 00:05:52.320 --> 00:05:56.270 And even now, like, as you can see, like I've lived for many years 89 00:05:56.270 --> 00:06:00.150 and I still make mistakes and probably I'll make till the rest of my 90 00:06:00.150 --> 00:06:03.630 life because sometimes you get used to say certain 91 00:06:03.790 --> 00:06:07.790 way things and pronounce certain way and it's hard to change. 92 00:06:09.230 --> 00:06:12.910 So which language is Lithuanian most like? 93 00:06:14.590 --> 00:06:18.350 Is it more like Finnish? Is it more like Russian? Where's it 94 00:06:18.350 --> 00:06:21.910 derived from? It's similar only to 95 00:06:21.910 --> 00:06:25.470 Latvian. It's a Baltic language group, so it's very different 96 00:06:25.710 --> 00:06:29.690 from others. And yeah, I speak Russian because I had 97 00:06:29.690 --> 00:06:33.530 to learn at school. We are part of a Soviet Union, so we had 98 00:06:33.530 --> 00:06:37.530 no choice, but it was a very difficult language because 99 00:06:37.530 --> 00:06:41.290 very different and I think the most similar 100 00:06:41.450 --> 00:06:45.290 to Sanskrit. We say, like everybody who studies 101 00:06:45.290 --> 00:06:49.290 Sanskrit, we study Lithuanian and Latvian because it's the most similar. 102 00:06:49.370 --> 00:06:53.140 So it's not even closely related to. To Estonian 103 00:06:53.140 --> 00:06:56.340 or to Latvia. It's just Lithuania. 104 00:06:57.060 --> 00:07:00.660 It used to be Prussian too, but that language disappeared. So 105 00:07:00.980 --> 00:07:04.180 now we have just two small countries and. Yeah, 106 00:07:05.300 --> 00:07:09.300 wow. So you mentioned there you grew up in that 107 00:07:09.620 --> 00:07:13.540 era, pre Berlin Wall, I guess, falling down and 108 00:07:13.780 --> 00:07:17.780 the Solidarity movement in Poland, all of that kind of era in the 109 00:07:17.780 --> 00:07:21.670 80s. So how was that for you growing up as a young 110 00:07:21.670 --> 00:07:25.173 person in that world? Yeah, so like it was 111 00:07:25.173 --> 00:07:28.715 definitely very exciting to get independence. I 112 00:07:28.715 --> 00:07:32.604 remember that time and yes, sometimes I don't know if I 113 00:07:32.604 --> 00:07:36.407 would even know the. I knew that, you know, what we are 114 00:07:36.407 --> 00:07:40.294 getting is propaganda. But what I didn't know, I have a 115 00:07:40.294 --> 00:07:43.837 real event stories about my own family or about my 116 00:07:43.837 --> 00:07:47.725 country because people were afraid to speak or share. 117 00:07:47.725 --> 00:07:51.441 So I find out like for example, that my best friend's 118 00:07:51.441 --> 00:07:54.983 father was in Siberia for 20 years only, you know, 119 00:07:54.983 --> 00:07:58.870 during independence movement because nobody talked 120 00:07:58.870 --> 00:08:02.672 about those things. I didn't know that my uncle was in 121 00:08:02.672 --> 00:08:06.647 KGB prison and when he came back, like nobody then could 122 00:08:06.647 --> 00:08:10.449 recognise him. But I found out I even didn't know what 123 00:08:10.449 --> 00:08:13.790 KGB is growing up. Nobody talked about it. And 124 00:08:14.110 --> 00:08:17.990 so you knew that, you know that. Yes, 125 00:08:17.990 --> 00:08:21.470 we are not, you know, people say, oh, you live in the best country in 126 00:08:21.470 --> 00:08:24.110 the world. We knew that people in the west live better 127 00:08:25.310 --> 00:08:29.190 but. But we 128 00:08:29.190 --> 00:08:32.950 didn't know that. I didn't know even like what Lithuanian flag 129 00:08:32.950 --> 00:08:36.590 was. I didn't know the history of my country, my family history. 130 00:08:37.310 --> 00:08:41.279 So a lot of things we find out in independence movement. 131 00:08:41.999 --> 00:08:45.959 And yes, I remember my first trip to Berlin. Actually Berlin was the 132 00:08:45.959 --> 00:08:49.919 first city in the West I visited and it was 133 00:08:50.319 --> 00:08:52.319 shocking to see 134 00:08:54.079 --> 00:08:57.999 how different it was at that time comparing to Vilnius at The time 135 00:08:57.999 --> 00:09:01.839 was no renovations for 50 years. 136 00:09:02.159 --> 00:09:06.079 And it was shocking to see it. And when I came 137 00:09:06.079 --> 00:09:10.050 back, I remember how sad Vilnius 138 00:09:10.050 --> 00:09:13.610 looked to me and I thought it will never look as the rest of 139 00:09:13.690 --> 00:09:17.330 European cities because it was Nothing 140 00:09:17.330 --> 00:09:21.050 renovated for 50 years, was falling apart, was very grey 141 00:09:21.610 --> 00:09:25.170 and dark. And I thought, oh, this is the city I love so much. But 142 00:09:25.170 --> 00:09:27.770 it looks so different from the west. 143 00:09:29.450 --> 00:09:33.290 And yeah, it's beautiful to see that the changes. And I thought it will never 144 00:09:33.290 --> 00:09:37.150 happen in my lifetime. And now like, you know, like when I go back, I 145 00:09:37.150 --> 00:09:40.990 think it looks as, as beautiful as many other European capitals. And. 146 00:09:40.990 --> 00:09:44.630 And maybe in like some ways it's more unique because it has this still 147 00:09:44.630 --> 00:09:47.270 imperfection and. And that is also the beauty of it. 148 00:09:48.870 --> 00:09:52.310 Yeah, I think I was there in about 2007 and it, to me it seemed 149 00:09:52.310 --> 00:09:54.230 like a very vibrant 150 00:09:57.030 --> 00:10:00.990 culture. Didn't feel, it didn't feel 151 00:10:00.990 --> 00:10:04.580 like any deprivation or anything like that. I. Cause I remember being in 152 00:10:04.580 --> 00:10:08.460 Hungary at Budapest in about 2000. 153 00:10:08.700 --> 00:10:12.700 No, to about 1996. 97. And that 154 00:10:12.700 --> 00:10:16.060 seemed very, very backward to me at the time. The hotel 155 00:10:16.780 --> 00:10:20.580 was really felt like I would imagine a Soviet 156 00:10:20.580 --> 00:10:24.220 era hotel was. There was no. There was no comfort. The 157 00:10:24.220 --> 00:10:27.820 mattresses were like 2 inches thick and the really hard beds, 158 00:10:28.710 --> 00:10:32.390 everything was like tiles and hardwood and nothing soft. 159 00:10:32.630 --> 00:10:36.310 It was very, very square and boxy though. I guess 160 00:10:36.790 --> 00:10:40.550 the world had moved on in that in 10, 15 years since I was in 161 00:10:40.550 --> 00:10:44.390 Hungary. So yeah, I guess the Baltics also developed 162 00:10:44.390 --> 00:10:48.270 quite quickly once they found their freedom. Yeah, yeah, 163 00:10:48.270 --> 00:10:52.110 yeah, yeah, definitely it was. And it's 164 00:10:52.110 --> 00:10:55.810 really amazing to see all the changes here happened and 165 00:10:55.890 --> 00:10:59.730 not only, you know, how the cities look, but also how 166 00:10:59.730 --> 00:11:03.450 people like, you know, see opportunities and the whole 167 00:11:03.450 --> 00:11:07.410 culture change in so many good ways. I really like 168 00:11:07.410 --> 00:11:11.169 it. And yes, I. Talking about Berlin, I 169 00:11:11.169 --> 00:11:14.930 remember our first trip and as a 170 00:11:14.930 --> 00:11:18.850 student we got to go to the camp in Germany 171 00:11:19.010 --> 00:11:22.860 and we got money for it, train tickets and 172 00:11:22.860 --> 00:11:26.620 a hotel. But at that time for us that money was so big 173 00:11:26.860 --> 00:11:30.780 and so we decided, four of us, that 174 00:11:30.940 --> 00:11:33.660 no way we can spend money for the hotel. 175 00:11:34.700 --> 00:11:38.700 We'll go and find ways to be. Because we needed money. 176 00:11:39.580 --> 00:11:43.260 So yeah, it was an interesting trip. Going 177 00:11:43.260 --> 00:11:46.460 to a city in a country we never been before 178 00:11:47.590 --> 00:11:51.590 and, and figuring out like what we are going, you know, 179 00:11:51.590 --> 00:11:55.430 exploring basically city through all day, night and the 180 00:11:55.430 --> 00:11:58.310 next day till we've been one to the camp. 181 00:11:59.510 --> 00:12:03.269 And in some ways it was one most 182 00:12:03.269 --> 00:12:07.190 memorable trips because yes, you 183 00:12:07.190 --> 00:12:11.070 experience it all time. But yeah, like I, I would now like, you know, I 184 00:12:11.070 --> 00:12:14.750 wouldn't think, you know, to travel that way. But at that time, you know, we 185 00:12:14.750 --> 00:12:18.720 had this recession and as a student we didn't have money and it was 186 00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:22.160 for us way to travel and see the world and 187 00:12:22.560 --> 00:12:26.360 we made it work. Why did you pick the US and Washington 188 00:12:26.360 --> 00:12:30.240 as your destination or did you try lots of different places before 189 00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:33.727 you settled? Not so many other 190 00:12:33.727 --> 00:12:37.311 places I just visited or travelled. My 191 00:12:37.311 --> 00:12:41.231 husband is American so we met in Lithuania 192 00:12:41.231 --> 00:12:45.039 and Vilnius. Like we end up in the States. 193 00:12:46.680 --> 00:12:50.415 So you, you travel for love? Yes, it's. It 194 00:12:50.415 --> 00:12:54.412 happened. We met in Lithuania and then said let's, let's 195 00:12:54.412 --> 00:12:58.408 get check out and checking out, you know, sounds, sounds 196 00:12:58.408 --> 00:13:02.280 good. But being an immigrant is not the same. So we called 197 00:13:02.280 --> 00:13:06.160 this episode belonging beyond borders. And we talked very 198 00:13:06.160 --> 00:13:09.960 early in the introduction of how that sense of belonging, it must be 199 00:13:10.930 --> 00:13:14.850 really hard to go from a culture and a language that you've 200 00:13:14.850 --> 00:13:18.850 grown up with. Even though you had to transition from the pre Soviet into the 201 00:13:18.850 --> 00:13:22.450 post Soviet era and see the country develop, you're still 202 00:13:23.090 --> 00:13:26.689 moving to the us which is a completely different culture, not knowing 203 00:13:26.689 --> 00:13:30.570 anybody where you're. Whilst 204 00:13:30.570 --> 00:13:34.290 you can speak English really well, you don't speak English. As a native 205 00:13:34.690 --> 00:13:38.110 American or a native English speaker, how did you 206 00:13:38.510 --> 00:13:42.430 find that lack of belonging and how did you move into that sort 207 00:13:42.430 --> 00:13:46.230 of sense where you started to feel comfortable again? So it definitely is a 208 00:13:46.230 --> 00:13:50.190 journey. Like I tell everybody, like I mentored a 209 00:13:50.190 --> 00:13:53.630 lot of immigrants as well. It doesn't happen right away. 210 00:13:54.350 --> 00:13:57.550 And in some ways that experience 211 00:13:57.790 --> 00:14:01.470 definitely challenges you in so many different 212 00:14:01.550 --> 00:14:05.420 ways. But also and definitely humbles because yeah, 213 00:14:05.490 --> 00:14:09.290 you, yeah, there are many days that yeah, you don't know if you ever 214 00:14:09.290 --> 00:14:13.290 will be able to compete. I think what changed for 215 00:14:13.290 --> 00:14:16.770 me, like a lot of different things, but what it helped me 216 00:14:18.130 --> 00:14:21.730 first like, you know, you know, been talking about the interviews. 217 00:14:22.530 --> 00:14:26.370 At some point I thought I will not get a job and 218 00:14:26.370 --> 00:14:30.290 was like really difficult. As I mentioned, experience when you go and you see that 219 00:14:30.290 --> 00:14:34.130 people are not interested in you right away as you start talking. And 220 00:14:34.130 --> 00:14:38.100 at that point I realised that I don't care here if I get a job. 221 00:14:38.100 --> 00:14:41.980 I just want to get better and more comfortable in, in the interviews. And I 222 00:14:41.980 --> 00:14:45.980 started instead going to every interview and think about 223 00:14:46.060 --> 00:14:50.020 how I can do better next time. And I start comparing my 224 00:14:50.020 --> 00:14:54.020 own progress to where I was, you know, you know, month ago. And then when 225 00:14:54.020 --> 00:14:57.740 you start seeing progress, it changes and then you also stop 226 00:14:58.140 --> 00:15:01.780 paying attention what other people think about you because you think about 227 00:15:01.780 --> 00:15:05.740 yourself and start see room progress. What also 228 00:15:05.980 --> 00:15:09.860 helped Me really, especially in 229 00:15:09.860 --> 00:15:13.020 the last few years, I thought I'm already 230 00:15:13.420 --> 00:15:17.420 quite confident. And then I was challenged to 231 00:15:17.420 --> 00:15:21.220 be visible and to do speaking and being visible on the 232 00:15:21.220 --> 00:15:25.140 social media. And I realised how much I still 233 00:15:25.140 --> 00:15:29.030 had that imposter syndrome about myself that I 234 00:15:29.030 --> 00:15:32.950 didn't even realise. And I've learned how helpful it was 235 00:15:32.950 --> 00:15:36.870 for me to be more in the rooms 236 00:15:36.950 --> 00:15:40.910 where I feel don't belong. In the past I 237 00:15:40.910 --> 00:15:44.870 felt more comfortable going to be in the places maybe to 238 00:15:44.870 --> 00:15:48.390 be a lot of other immigrants where people could resonate 239 00:15:49.430 --> 00:15:53.230 experiences or language is not the same. But I've learned how 240 00:15:53.230 --> 00:15:56.540 was useful for me to go to the rooms where 241 00:15:57.580 --> 00:16:01.500 the less comfortable I was, the more value I got 242 00:16:01.500 --> 00:16:05.100 it. For example, 243 00:16:06.300 --> 00:16:09.980 in those recent years, I would 244 00:16:09.980 --> 00:16:13.820 go to the meeting and I would think, okay, here 245 00:16:13.980 --> 00:16:17.420 this person the most maybe, I don't know, 246 00:16:18.300 --> 00:16:22.220 strongest leader in the room and the most accomplished the person probably will 247 00:16:22.220 --> 00:16:26.200 never get back to me or even on the social media. I will think, okay, 248 00:16:26.200 --> 00:16:30.080 who's the person maybe is likely for me to respond? And I will reach 249 00:16:30.080 --> 00:16:34.080 out to the people very accomplished, the people who maybe 250 00:16:34.080 --> 00:16:37.480 will never respond to me and ask for the 251 00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:41.400 conversation. And I've learned, you know, how helpful for me was those 252 00:16:41.480 --> 00:16:44.600 conversations and most mentoring sessions where they 253 00:16:45.320 --> 00:16:49.160 suddenly pushed me out of a comfort zone who said, like you have to be 254 00:16:49.160 --> 00:16:52.490 visible, you have to be speaking speaker for a leader and influencer. And I said, 255 00:16:52.490 --> 00:16:55.610 well, that is not for me. And then they say why? And then they tell 256 00:16:55.610 --> 00:16:59.397 why. You know, I said like I, I just don't like it. And, and now 257 00:16:59.397 --> 00:17:03.210 I've realised and now they said I met with the same mentors at 258 00:17:03.210 --> 00:17:06.794 Silicon Valley. Look, you are doing everything that you 259 00:17:06.794 --> 00:17:10.607 thought that is not for you. And I've learned, you know, how, 260 00:17:10.607 --> 00:17:14.495 yes, it's, it's helpful for me was to challenge my own comfort 261 00:17:14.495 --> 00:17:17.621 zone and to, to get to know people who think and act 262 00:17:17.621 --> 00:17:21.508 differently, who don't say, like to do only this thing. Think 263 00:17:21.508 --> 00:17:25.387 big, act big, speak big, be bold. What you're saying there about the 264 00:17:25.387 --> 00:17:29.167 imposter syndrome and the have just forced yourself out of your comfort 265 00:17:29.167 --> 00:17:32.506 zone and move out of the. If you like the comfort of being with the 266 00:17:32.506 --> 00:17:36.286 expat community, with people who kind of share in the same problem. I can 267 00:17:36.286 --> 00:17:40.066 certainly relate to that because I've been tHRough that phase in my life 268 00:17:40.066 --> 00:17:43.909 where you can hold yourself back by living in comfort, can't you? And when 269 00:17:43.909 --> 00:17:47.878 we, when we're judging people or judging ourselves and I think when you talk 270 00:17:47.878 --> 00:17:51.847 about imposter syndrome, there Your reference model of who you are doesn't 271 00:17:51.847 --> 00:17:55.627 evolve very quickly because it's always on your tail. So you have to, you 272 00:17:55.627 --> 00:17:59.281 have to jump, almost jump out of your comfort zone in order to see those 273 00:17:59.281 --> 00:18:03.250 changes. And then you look back over your shoulder and think, wow, I've come 274 00:18:03.250 --> 00:18:07.030 a long way. But day by day you don't feel like you've changed. It's really 275 00:18:07.030 --> 00:18:10.936 interesting what you say about the interviews, where you are going to each 276 00:18:10.936 --> 00:18:14.842 interview looking to do better than last time, preparing to do better next 277 00:18:14.842 --> 00:18:18.559 time and eventually that would pay off and you, you'd. That confidence 278 00:18:18.559 --> 00:18:22.130 would shine tHRough, wouldn't it? Yeah. And 279 00:18:22.370 --> 00:18:26.210 it helped me not only, you know, and feel better because I 280 00:18:26.210 --> 00:18:29.890 just, you know, stop paying attention, you know, what other people think, 281 00:18:30.770 --> 00:18:34.730 but also helped me all to help better others. Now, like I 282 00:18:34.730 --> 00:18:38.450 help a lot of other people in interviews because I start giving 283 00:18:38.450 --> 00:18:42.250 different examples and seeing what will resonate. I got better, but I also 284 00:18:42.250 --> 00:18:45.470 start paying attention when I start interviewing others. 285 00:18:46.190 --> 00:18:50.030 I've realised how many other people, especially like immigrants or 286 00:18:50.030 --> 00:18:54.030 expats, they make the same mistake as I do. They don't 287 00:18:54.030 --> 00:18:57.950 really tell them, tell the storeys, they 288 00:18:58.350 --> 00:19:02.270 talk too much, too little, don't give a good examples, don't give 289 00:19:02.270 --> 00:19:05.950 examples at all and, and so on. So it helped me to help 290 00:19:05.950 --> 00:19:09.950 others better. And yes, I got better myself. So how do you find 291 00:19:09.950 --> 00:19:13.820 the US as a society? Is it, is it welcoming? I mean, 292 00:19:13.820 --> 00:19:17.340 I see a lot on the news and the media about political 293 00:19:17.660 --> 00:19:21.580 discourse at the moment. How does it feel being a. I don't want this word 294 00:19:21.580 --> 00:19:25.340 to sound derogatory, but an immigrant, but I guess that's who you are. 295 00:19:25.500 --> 00:19:29.340 How does it feel being in the country right now 296 00:19:29.580 --> 00:19:33.460 with your, with your background, status? So I think, you 297 00:19:33.460 --> 00:19:37.420 know, this is, in some ways it inspired me, the conversations 298 00:19:37.500 --> 00:19:41.470 like, so when I search non private 299 00:19:41.470 --> 00:19:45.230 conversations, nobody. I say all the time I'm immigrant. People 300 00:19:45.550 --> 00:19:49.070 don't say anything. When I start speaking 301 00:19:49.630 --> 00:19:53.470 about immigrant experiences, my first podcast, 302 00:19:54.590 --> 00:19:58.510 people start asking me questions like, why do you 303 00:19:58.510 --> 00:20:02.390 even call myself an immigrant at that time? Like, you know, for me it was 304 00:20:02.390 --> 00:20:05.470 strange, you know, and I said, how come you know, I'm an immigrant? 305 00:20:06.390 --> 00:20:10.070 So some people say, you live here for so many years, why do you still 306 00:20:10.070 --> 00:20:14.030 call yourself an immigrant? Or like, why do you call yourself an immigrant when you 307 00:20:14.030 --> 00:20:17.830 are like, you know, having your own consultancy? And I say, well, 308 00:20:17.830 --> 00:20:21.750 when I was making $7 per hour, then I was an immigrant 309 00:20:21.750 --> 00:20:25.350 and now like, I'm not anymore. Or like they will say 310 00:20:25.510 --> 00:20:29.390 some also valid points like they will say look, Americans who 311 00:20:29.390 --> 00:20:33.250 live in your country don't call them, call themselves expatriates. So why do 312 00:20:33.250 --> 00:20:37.130 you call yourself an immigrant if you live in the States and, and, and 313 00:20:37.130 --> 00:20:41.010 and so on or like that you don't look like an immigrant. And they said 314 00:20:41.010 --> 00:20:44.810 look how look immigrant looks like. And, and then they say well in America 315 00:20:44.810 --> 00:20:48.770 immigrants looks like ones who cross in Mexico border. And I said well I cross 316 00:20:48.770 --> 00:20:52.770 different border. And for me immigrants know coming from all around the world. 317 00:20:52.770 --> 00:20:56.210 And, and so yeah, it was interesting and that's why I've 318 00:20:56.210 --> 00:21:00.110 realised that even this or like 319 00:21:00.110 --> 00:21:03.670 I, I told I help other immigrants and I say why do you call other 320 00:21:03.670 --> 00:21:07.630 people immigrants? And I realised well yeah, maybe it's true. Like some people don't like 321 00:21:07.630 --> 00:21:11.070 to be called immigrants. We like to be called expats or 322 00:21:11.070 --> 00:21:14.990 foreigners. And but yeah, like I, in some ways that inspired 323 00:21:14.990 --> 00:21:18.870 the conversation because I found that being 324 00:21:18.870 --> 00:21:22.870 an immigrant was definitely challenging experience. Definitely you 325 00:21:22.870 --> 00:21:26.710 don't feel welcome all the time. There is a lot of now 326 00:21:26.710 --> 00:21:30.467 thoughts about these good immigrants or bad immigrants. Well, for me 327 00:21:30.467 --> 00:21:33.967 it's like, you know, it's just being immigrant 328 00:21:33.967 --> 00:21:37.556 doesn't make you bad or good. It makes your, it's 329 00:21:37.556 --> 00:21:41.144 challenging but it doesn't make you a good or bad 330 00:21:41.144 --> 00:21:44.732 person. And so yeah, like that's what inspired. 331 00:21:44.732 --> 00:21:48.500 Because I wanted to show that being immigrant does 332 00:21:48.500 --> 00:21:52.269 not diminish your, your value actually it expands 333 00:21:52.269 --> 00:21:56.036 your world, it expands your perspective. I want it 334 00:21:56.036 --> 00:21:59.895 also like when I start speaking a lot of other people 335 00:21:59.895 --> 00:22:03.573 say please be a voice for us because we never have a 336 00:22:03.573 --> 00:22:07.429 consultant or speaker who sounds like us in HR. And I 337 00:22:07.429 --> 00:22:10.928 realised, yeah, a lot of even conferences I go, 338 00:22:10.928 --> 00:22:14.427 nobody talks about immigrant experiences and 339 00:22:14.427 --> 00:22:18.374 nobody. There are not so many people who have accents 340 00:22:18.374 --> 00:22:22.321 and from other countries, especially in HR. So I felt 341 00:22:22.321 --> 00:22:26.140 like in some ways I, it, you know. Yeah, it's, it's, 342 00:22:26.140 --> 00:22:29.940 it's important conversation and that's why I started, you know, considering because I 343 00:22:29.940 --> 00:22:33.759 felt very passionate about it. So would you class 344 00:22:33.759 --> 00:22:37.610 yourself? You know, in this pHRase you use a good immigrant 345 00:22:37.610 --> 00:22:41.381 as opposed to someone maybe who's from Central America or 346 00:22:41.381 --> 00:22:45.232 Southern America might be framed more as a bad immigrant in 347 00:22:45.232 --> 00:22:49.003 the language. Do you have privilege by being from a, from a 348 00:22:49.003 --> 00:22:52.910 good country? Is that that how you would say it? I don't 349 00:22:52.910 --> 00:22:56.390 know. It's, it's, it's, it's a privilege. Maybe it is, 350 00:22:56.870 --> 00:23:00.470 but it's also like I just don't like 351 00:23:00.550 --> 00:23:03.910 altogether this classification because it's 352 00:23:06.070 --> 00:23:09.870 altogether America is, is based on. Most people are 353 00:23:09.870 --> 00:23:13.790 immigrants at Some point. Most not. You know, 354 00:23:13.790 --> 00:23:16.950 there are very few who would consider themselves 355 00:23:17.360 --> 00:23:21.280 natives from native backgrounds. It's, It's. There is a beauty of it, 356 00:23:21.280 --> 00:23:25.120 you know, food and culture. That's what I think makes America so 357 00:23:25.120 --> 00:23:29.000 unique because of a diversity of people and different generations of 358 00:23:29.000 --> 00:23:32.480 immigrants that brought so much value to it. So it's. 359 00:23:33.680 --> 00:23:37.320 Yeah, I don't agree and show. Like, it was 360 00:23:37.320 --> 00:23:41.240 interesting initially when I start, you 361 00:23:41.240 --> 00:23:44.800 know, speaking, I thought that only immigrants 362 00:23:45.140 --> 00:23:49.140 will relate to what I talk. But then suddenly people from 363 00:23:49.140 --> 00:23:53.140 all kind backgrounds say this conversation is important. They say 364 00:23:53.220 --> 00:23:56.260 I was not. I felt like an immigrant in my own country, 365 00:23:57.460 --> 00:24:01.460 so I have disability and you don't. But language can feel 366 00:24:01.460 --> 00:24:04.900 like disability. So understand that it's important people with disability. 367 00:24:05.620 --> 00:24:08.980 I also felt like I don't belong. I face different 368 00:24:08.980 --> 00:24:12.960 stereotypes than you, but it's still stereotypes. Consider that, you 369 00:24:12.960 --> 00:24:16.840 know, every. What you talk, it applies to so many people. 370 00:24:16.920 --> 00:24:20.720 It's not only for immigrants. And this is how I feel 371 00:24:20.720 --> 00:24:24.680 like, you know, it's important more talking about 372 00:24:25.480 --> 00:24:29.400 experiences, what it's like, you know, to adjust, belong, 373 00:24:30.040 --> 00:24:34.000 overcome challenges, be more sensitive to others. Do you call yourself 374 00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:38.000 American now, or do you still see yourself as an expat immigrant? Are you 375 00:24:38.000 --> 00:24:41.893 American? Yeah, well, I know. I think I still 376 00:24:41.893 --> 00:24:45.338 consider myself Lithuanian, living in the 377 00:24:45.338 --> 00:24:49.169 States, like, yeah, when I land, you know, when I 378 00:24:49.169 --> 00:24:52.806 go back to Lithuania, I don't consider myself 379 00:24:52.806 --> 00:24:56.635 immigrants in my own country, depending where I 380 00:24:56.635 --> 00:24:59.794 am. But I also appreciate experience. I 381 00:24:59.794 --> 00:25:03.530 appreciate that a lot. So 382 00:25:03.610 --> 00:25:07.580 do you have an American passport now? No, I don't. I. 383 00:25:07.580 --> 00:25:11.140 I'm a permanent resident because Lithuania doesn't allow dual 384 00:25:11.140 --> 00:25:15.060 citizenship. And that is the reason I don't want to be a 385 00:25:15.060 --> 00:25:18.980 foreigner in. In my own country, so I don't. 386 00:25:20.100 --> 00:25:23.940 Okay, so you'd have to renounce your Lithuanian citizenship in 387 00:25:23.940 --> 00:25:27.860 order to get American. So. And that's important to you to 388 00:25:27.860 --> 00:25:31.820 hold on to that? Well, I think it's. It's. It's important, you know, 389 00:25:31.820 --> 00:25:35.730 to my heart. Like, you know, we fight for independence 390 00:25:35.730 --> 00:25:39.730 so long. It was very emotional to get Lithuanian passport for me. So 391 00:25:39.730 --> 00:25:43.050 it's like, it's dear to my heart that. Yes, 392 00:25:43.610 --> 00:25:47.130 you know, you don't want to be like a foreigner in your own country, too. 393 00:25:47.370 --> 00:25:51.010 No, no, I get that. Because if you're not careful, you. You end up belonging 394 00:25:51.010 --> 00:25:54.410 to nowhere and. Well, it. Yes, 395 00:25:54.730 --> 00:25:58.610 yes. Yeah, it could be. Yeah. So you've built 396 00:25:58.610 --> 00:26:02.210 your life with your husband and you built your business, and you've 397 00:26:02.690 --> 00:26:05.730 done this. Have you found that sense of belonging now? Do you get to the 398 00:26:05.730 --> 00:26:08.850 point where whilst you have your Lithuanian passport, 399 00:26:09.490 --> 00:26:12.690 you feel as American as you can be. 400 00:26:14.450 --> 00:26:17.250 I, I definitely, you know, 401 00:26:18.210 --> 00:26:22.050